I stopped saying “I love you,” not because I’m incapable of loving anymore, but because I threw it around so much that I realized I forgot what ‘love’ really was. Come to think of it, I even wondered if I ever truly loved someone back then. I could have just mistook ‘love’ for ‘like.’ I’m not saying I regret saying those words to someone or something, I’m taking this as “better realizing it, than to never do”. I know people have different perspectives of ‘love’, here you’ll see my view of it.
I think love shouldn’t be thrown around so much unless you know what it really is. To me, the word ‘love’ itself is simply so beautiful that you only deserve to receive it from someone who really does and you need to say to someone you really do. You may think that in my mind people are silly for just saying it to random people, it kind of is to me. Think about it, no, I really mean THINK ABOUT IT, think about who you’re saying it to, think about the few seconds you’ll be using to say these words, is it worth every ounce of courage you’ll be consuming to say these words… just think about it.
You may also think, I’m just a really skeptical person. Well I am, but believe me when I say I watch a lot of fairy tales and romantic films that make me all giddy inside; of course, I still hope to find someone who’ll make my stomach burst with butterflies as well.
I guess I can only blame myself for having this kind of state of mind. It’s mostly because of my overthinking. I can’t seem to find peace at mind unless I look over every aspect of a situation; positive or negative. Another, the barriers that people would give me. No, I’m not saying just the family, but also of what I’ve seen and heard from my friends, the stories they’ve told about their love lives, I’ve responded with advices I always had but never needed for myself; isn’t it just ironic in that sense?
One day, I will be a volcano erupting butterflies. One day, I won’t be thinking twice being with someone. One day, I will be able to say these three words again.