The Older We Get, The More Brutal Each Heartbreak Feels

Truth is, the older we get, the more brutal each heartbreak feels.

In college, relationships were simpler. They felt as easy as asking the cute guy in class to be our study buddy; study buddies slowly transitioned into pregame buddies, which eventually became make out buddies. Before we knew it, we were talking about our futures, as if we even had a clue. We were young. We were reckless, yet it all felt so easy.

Breakups hurt in college, but each heartbreak was so much easier to bounce back from.

In my case, I spent most of my college days focusing on flings. I was the anywhere-but-here, girl. There was only one boy I really loved. He broke my heart; I cried and refused to get out of my bed for a few months. And then I moved on and began my search for the next best thing.

Looking back, I wonder how it was so easy to move on. Was college love never really love? Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe love at 21 is just child’s play.

All I know is I’m 26 and each heartbreak seems to sting a bit more than the last. That seems to be a common trend among most of my friends. If we were being honest, we’d probably admit it’s because we’re 26 and no longer kids; each date is a desperate attempt in trying to find The One.

There was a time when I mistakenly assumed I’d be married at 27 and having kids by 29. And yet here I am, 26 and more alone than ever. Each failed relationship reminds me just how far I am from my goals.

At 26, we fall harder for each date. The longer the relationship, the more we see them fitting into our white picket fence life. Maybe this is just us settling and jumping the gun a bit faster than we should. We want it so badly that we refuse to see the signs glaring right in front of us. Or maybe this is us chasing after our goals. It’s us realizing that love is a compromise and that we have to give in order to get.

I honestly don’t know.

All I know is I’m 26 and each heartbreak seems to hurt a bit more than the last.