I’d Never Admit It, But Sometimes I Still Text You

Daria Nepriakhina

I’d never admit it, but I sometimes still text you.
Except, maybe that’s a lie.
I turn my phone to airplane mode,
A text that’s floating,
Left unsaid.

I know I’m a bit insane.
But, I don’t know how to not have you in my life.

I’d never admit it, but I sometimes still stalk your Facebook.
I check your Venmo.
Navigate to your Instagram more times than can be healthy.
Debating viewing your snapchat.
Cave when it’s 2am and I’m drunk
And the world’s a bit quiet.

I tell myself it’s not stalking if it’s with a person you once loved.

I sometimes still filter through old photos.
I look at screenshots of convos.
The ones worth sending to my best friends.

I sometimes look through our old chats,
Convinced it’s less pathetic.
Because I’m not rereading our texts.
But, that’s probably a lie.
You and I both know I’d read them if I could.
But, I’ve already deleted them.
I already tossed out your clothes.
The presents.
The memories.

I’m probably a bit crazy.
I want you in my life,
Even after you’ve already left.

And yet I find myself holding on.
Reminiscing over the good.
Over what we once had. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Full Time Techie, Part Time Blogger, Amateur Adult, circa 1992.

Keep up with Priya on Instagram and priyajain.me

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