How we‘re going to fit together, doesn’t seem to fall short of the makings of a beautiful story.
All along, all I’ve ever wished for was to find someone who could understand me exactly the way I am, to love me like no one ever has, and to make sure I know he’d never let me go. People talk about soulmates, about how in life, we find that one person we seem to connect with, someone we can truly let in, someone we aren’t afraid to be ourselves with. I know someday, I’m going to find that with you. Even though we’ve never met, some part of me knows we’ll find our way to each other at the right time, for the right reasons.
As time ticks by, and the moment when we’re going to meet draws closer, I find myself wanting you to be around. Just around. I want you to know how my pillow acts as an amazing hairdresser, how I look when I get out of bed. I want you to see how I stretch the minute I get out of bed and make baby dinosaur noises. I want you to see how clumsy I am. To see the times I feel like a ninja when I save something from dropping because of my uber cool reflexes! I want you to see how I do the simplest, the most mundane things in life, from brushing my teeth to reading the newspaper to combing my hair, to crossing roads, to everything else that I don’t seem to think twice about every day.
I want you to know how I can be wayyyy too sarcastic when I’m furious. How I tend to blink too much when I’m pissed off. I want you to see me during those times when I talk before I think. That happens a lot, by the way. You have been warned hue hue hue.
I want you to see my temper tantrums when I’m moody. How I can be ridiculously happy one minute and upset the other. I want you to see how fragile I can get, and yet, be the strongest person you’ve ever met. I want you to see me jump with joy. To see the little funny happy dance I do all the time. I want you to see that sometimes when I get bored, I sit upside down on the couch. I want you to see me act my silliest, and the times I’m most mature and dignified. I want you to see the weird faces I make. How my eyes seem to express every tiny thing that goes through my mind. I want you to see those subtle changes in me. I want you to see me at my most hyper self and know that you’ve met a hurricane. I also want you to see me when I’m most calm, and realize there are two sides to me. I want you to see me being my messiest, and other times I’ve been a crazy perfectionist.
I want you to be able to see the pure joy I feel when I think of you.
I want you to see how I push my hair behind my ears when I’m thinking deeply or when someone attractive walks past (I will probably be doing it a lot when you are around, wink wink). I want you to see how I slowly fall asleep and how I sometimes end up sleeping like a star and taking the whole bed. I want you to see the ease with which I carry myself and how I walk with my head held high. I want you to know how our hands entwine and fit perfectly.
Not only that, I want you to know every bit of me. Emotionally and physically. Every contour, every curve. I want to know how it feels like to get to know every bit of you. How it feels to hug you, even though we’re probably going to have a foot of height difference. How we’re probably gonna struggle with me trying to kiss your cheek. Or how our lips meet. Or how we end up entwining ourselves with each other. I want to know what it feels like to sit beside you, with your arm around me, never growing tired of talking with each other. Or watching a movie with you, or doing anything that would have previously seemed normal to me. Or just cuddling up and talking about things we’ve never opened up to anyone else about. To being comfortable in our own silence.
All those things, I wish to know what it feels like, doing it all with you. I want to know how it feels like when you hold me close to you. To feel secure in your arms. To bury my head in your chest when I’m upset. To throw our heads up in laughter and have those million giggles. To tease each other and never get tired of being with each other. To look into your eyes, and know what you’re trying to tell me. To look at you and instantly know what’s on your mind. To have our own secret glances and codes. To be in our own world. I want to know how all of that feels.
Most importantly, someday, when we finally meet, I wish we’ll know what us feels like.
Lots of love,
The Girl You’ve Never Met