Why are you purposely punishing yourself? Why are you painfully waiting for something to happen that’s likely to never going to happen? I commend you for your level of tolerance and patience, your heart clearly has an infinite capacity to love as well as it does to endure.
Why are you constantly allowing him to damage you? He’s inadvertently and purposely hurting you, slowly poisoning you from the inside out. All of the love that you’ve given to him has been tainted and reciprocated back to you in the form of pain.
He may be what your mind wants, but is he what your heart wants? Clear your vision in order to see the inconsistencies between the desire of the mind and that of the heart.
You’re waiting on him to match your level of love. You’re waiting on him to evolve into the man that he once wanted to become. But men only grow through pain, and he prefers comfort.
Your intuition is strong, so I’m sure that you’re aware of all of the hidden intention and silent deceit. What exactly are you sacrificing for? Let go of this false illusion of happiness.
Do you feel as if you’re undeserving of new love? Are you trapped by complacency and feel that it would be easier to just endure unnecessary pain versus gaining the courage to recreate your life? Or is your heart so exhausted that you’d rather keep things the way they are knowing that you’d at least have someone rather than no one?
Do you fear being alone?
It’s in isolation where you learn who you truly are. Yes, it’s hard at first, but at least your thoughts and emotions will no longer be contaminated by the influence of external factors. Isolation is necessary because it allows you the time and space to re-learn yourself without having to dilute your intentions and emotions with the thoughts and opinions of those around you.
Being alone will help you make decisions with more confidence and clarity.
The dreams and the fantasies that you’re awaiting are those of the past. They’re ideas and desires that were created and shared by the “you and him” of the past. He’s no longer the same man, nor are you the same woman. There’s nothing else to hold on to.
He’s betrayed you. He’s wholeheartedly hurting you, damaging you both mentally and emotionally.
You should be receiving endless empowerment, but his efforts only leave you feeling like a lesser version of yourself. He’s halted your growth. He’s a contaminant, a parasite feeding off of your energy without reciprocation. This is the opposite of a symbiotic relationship, which is the concept that reinforces all of love and nature.
You seem to have forgotten how beautiful you are. The tone of your voice and the reflection from your eyes used to emanate joy and life, but now it only vibrates pain and suffering. The illusions and lies that you’ve been saturated with seems to have blurred your truths and convoluted the thoughts and views that you have of yourself.
You’re strong, smart, kind, loving, unselfish, and you’re emotionally intelligent. Don’t continue to give yourself to someone who is undeserving of you and the blessings that you bring.
He doesn’t understand your beauty, he can’t comprehend the power and the potency of your strengths and qualities.
This is just who he is, and he’s just being himself. If you knew who you truly were and what you truly deserved from the start, then you wouldn’t have given such an undeserving person an opportunity. You would’ve quickly dissolved his illusions.
I’m not saying that this is your fault, but it kind of is, indirectly. You’ve been passive, and by constantly allowing this behavior you’ve conditioned him to continuously hurt you.
Your love for him has been relentless from the start, but his love for you has been steadily declining. Just because he says that he loves you doesn’t mean that he loves you. Love can be compared to sacrifice, and he sacrifices nothing to make you happy.
His emotions have grown numb, the kisses, the hugs, he feels nothing now. He’s physically present but emotionally absent. His love is parasitic, always taking more than he gives.
When will you want better for yourself? Why are you choosing to be unhappy? Don’t be with him out of comfort and familiarity. Break your comfort if you want to be better.
Let him go. Release the false anticipation and regain your strength. It’s time to redefine your vision of happiness and get back to the building blocks. Happiness is merely a decision away.