I Love You, But I’m Not In Love With You

I love you but I’m not in love with you. A sentence that is so powerful that it has the potential to ruin any relationship no matter how many years it may have lasted. I have heard the sentence a few times and from both men and women but what does it even mean and why do people say it?

Is it an easy way out? a cop out when you don’t have any other way out of a relationship? Why not just say what you really feel? These are some of the responses I hear from partners when they hear this sentence. It is hard to decipher because it seems ambiguous but it really isn’t.

Couples need to stop overthinking this…it means pretty much what it says…I LOVE you but I’m not IN LOVE with you.

Now this can mean a few things:

  • I love you as a friend and I want to stay friends
  • I don’t feel the same as I do when we first fell in love
  • I don’t have those feelings that a person has when they are madly in love with someone

In essence it means that the person does not love you in a romantic way anymore. That being said, it doesn’t mean that the relationship is over.

Sometimes people lose site of what is important because life gets in the way. You start working; you have children and a mortgage and worries that accumulate without you ever knowing.

Couples don’t make time for themselves and I’m not talking about big things, I’m talking about small things, date nights, dinners, going to the movies and most importantly making love or even the excitement of flirting. Most of the time when partners leave or start losing interest is because you forgot to make time for each other. You forgot why you came together, you forgot what you liked about each other, you start taking the other person for granted and most importantly you stop communicating.

This is a very vast topic as you all know and loads of factors contribute to this. It was just something i had thought of so wrote about. If you are having some feelings of becoming distant or partners being distant, talk to each other. Some of the biggest issues in relationships can be sorted if you just talked about it. It’s the biggest complaint I hear “if only he/she had said something to me”. Drop your ego and stop waiting for the other person to say something. If your relationship means something to you then take charge and do something about it. You and your partner and your kids will thank you for it.

Take care and start the dialogue! Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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