8 Things Extremely Lazy People Will Never Understand

1. Having plans every single day.

Do people not need to relax in the comfort of their homes? Well, I’m sorry for being a party pooper, but sometimes I find more joy in lying on my bed with my trusty laptop (his name’s Mike, thanks) and feasting on some delicious chocolate – every couch potato’s wet dream. Going out and interacting with people (my fellow introverts will empathize) gets so tedious and exhausting, which makes me appreciate my lounging-at-home days so much more.

Doing nothing all day is the dream.

2. Bathing everyday, or twice a day.

Don’t get me wrong, after a long day when I’m all gross and icky, I love nothing more than to hop into the shower. However, on days when literally all I’m doing is lying at home like the sloth that I am, I see absolutely no point in showering (more like I can’t get myself off the bed) and don’t even get me started on washing hair. The horror. This may sound painfully disgusting to some people, but my logic is that I’m totally clean staying at home, so why should I take a shower?

3. Making your bed.

Visitors only enter my house once in a blue moon, much less my room, so why do my folks insist on making my bed every morning when I’m just going to be messing it all up in another 18 hours? I can understand the logic behind cleaning my room (that doesn’t mean I do it…), but making my bed? Nah.

4. Waking up early.

Early risers, what are you on? If I had my way, I’d be waking up after 12 everyday. Sleeping at 3 AM and waking up at noon is totally my kinda life (with lots of cash, of course). You know when you watch TV or movies and the character wakes up at the crack of dawn looking all content and well-rested – what world is that? I used to have a hard time believing that it was humanly possible for people to automatically wake up at a certain time, but holy shit these aliens exist.

People like me tend to resemble an aggravated Ron Swanson when awoken from our beauty sleep. And let’s not talk about how many times we have to hit the snooze button on the alarm before we actually wake up…

5. Exercising!

This is one thing I occasionally enjoy…… shocker. Even then, the inertia involved in getting myself in exercise clothes and out of the house is waaaay too high. The amount of effort required in exercising is tremendous, and yet you see people exercising every single day. HOW? After a long and exhausting day of classes, I only want to plop on my bed and just not move. Fat Amy just gets us – horizontal running is the way to go.

6. Getting up when you’re all comfy.

We’ve all had those moments where we needed to pee or turn on the lights, but were way too comfortable on the couch or bed to do so. ‘Nuff said.

7. Putting in effort in getting ready EVERY SINGLE DAY.

On a good day I manage some lipstick and brush my hair or put it in a decent hairdo, so how people go through the entire foundation, contouring and eyeshadow shebang is beyond me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of those girls that like dressing up and looking good, but I can’t bring myself to go through that entire routine every day. We’re forced to wake up early enough for school, college, or work, so why cause yourself more unnecessary loss of sleep? Also, people that somehow manage to look perfect while lounging at home – what? I have difficulty pulling on a bra when I’m at home.

8. Doing things on time.

Procrastination is what we’re best at. Have an assignment due on Monday? Sunday night’s a great time to start (panicking). Yeah, we somehow get it done. It’s a talent, really. Life’s too short to prepare for everything in advance! Gotta meet your friends for lunch at 12? At 11:55, that’s when you send a “hold up guys I just woke up!” text. That literally happened to me on my own birthday lunch – the pain of waking up is real. As they say: The queen is never late; everyone else is simply early. I mean we’re obviously the freaking queens.