person holding green leaves

Allow Your Pain Help You Grow Into The Person You Want To Be

Don’t allow your pain to make you the person you never wanted to become.

Oftentimes, we hold on to our pain because it gives us a reason to become distant from everything that broke our hearts. We become comfortable in the hurting because we know that when it’s all over, we can be comfortable in the numbness too. We hide our heart when it’s aching because we realize that when the time is done, we can love again, but with our guards and walls held up high, not as approachable as we used to be. We love, but we don’t love wholeheartedly. We love with the fear of being broken. Moreover, we love with the terror of remaining broken and bruised. We love only when we think it’s safe.

Why do we allow pain to wither ourselves when it’s only meant to empower the bloom?

There is no love without pain and there is no life without pain. Pain changes you from a timid soul to a person of valor. However, pain never asks you to pretend to be someone that you’re not. Pain never asks you to live in partial happiness. Pain never asks you to stop dreaming for bigger and better things. Pain never asks you to settle for things you don’t truly believe in. Pain never asks you to stop loving and being loved in return. Pain never asks you to fear trusting someone. Pain never asks you to move away from your identity. Pain never asks you to sabotage yourself for a version that you do not fully approve of.

Life is not all about learning, but it’s rather about not becoming the person you never wanted to become.

Pain changes us for the better, but when it makes us ache, let’s not try to avoid it. Let us not be so thick-skinned that we stop ourselves from crying, from allowing our hearts to feel an emotion, from being a little more broken. Because as much as we avoid pain, along with it, we also avoid joy. We avoid surprises, risks, ups and downs, tiny and big challenges. We avoid and deny the hearts we carry. We avoid the emotional beings we are created to be. We avoid being who we are meant to be. In the end, we might learn a lot of things through pain. But let it not be at the cost of being someone you never wanted to become.

About the author
An honest bean trying to write & unify lost thoughts, words and voices Follow Poline on Instagram or read more articles from Poline on Thought Catalog.

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