Every Time I Look At You, I Fall In Love All Over Again

Jeremy Wong

I loved you the first time I saw you for the second time for multiple times in my life. I fell in love you when we first met. You were at a bookstore at that time. You were wearing glasses since you have sore eyes. Even if you had red eyes my eyes would never leave by your side. I wondered why you left me at the cinema. You told me you were not sure you will go back. You didn’t know I waited for you every second until you returned to me to finish the movie. I forgot what movie it was but I remember meeting you and falling in love with you even if you didn’t think of me that way then.

I fell in love with you for the first time again when I saw you at the hospital. I was wearing a hospital gown and I can’t even remember who you were. I didn’t even know who I was. The doctors asked me who you were. You just smiled and I asked you who you are. You smiled and never said a word. I even asked you why your tummy was huge and if I was the father. You must have held your pains and tears when you heard I forgot your name, our life and the life of our son. Even then with no memory my heart I didn’t know you but my heart beats for you even if I didn’t know your name.

You held my hand while I was sleeping. You didn’t know but I would open my eye and wonder who was holding my hand while I slept. I taught to myself how lucky I am to have a beautiful woman holding my hand even if I was very sick and I didn’t even know who I was. Every time I woke up I fell in love with you every day of my life like it was just the first time we met when I was sick. I never wanted to sleep at that time since when I close my eyes I might forget you again. I would rather have a single memory of you and die than close my eyes and forget you again.

You didn’t know but every time I lost my memories of you. I fell in love with you every day, like it’s the first time I saw you. You didn’t know but every time I knew you were my girlfriend I thought every day on how to propose to you. Every day I woke up I thought of a day that I would marry you someday so I planned to propose to you every day I lost my memories of you.

I gave you a plastic ring. It was the only thing I had at the time with the thought of proposing my love for you even if I lost everything in my life. From my memories, my future to even my clothes I lost everything except my love for you. Even then I was grateful that I had a family and I had you.

You reminded me of who I was and how we met and even that would have a son everyday by talking to me and writing in our notebook how I met you. You never gave up even when my brothers and sisters asked you to give up since my outcomes were poor. After my 2nd seizure the doctors had bad outcomes. Either I would die or live in a vegetative state and have no memories of everyone. I asked myself how someone would still stay when the outcomes were poor and worse was I didn’t know who she was.

For now, till forever. I will love you more today than yesterday. Even if I lose my memories again I know in my heart that I will still fall in love with you just like the time we first met.

Forgive me but I fell in love with someone again. The first time I saw him I was mesmerized by his beauty and his cuteness. I saw his name tag. It was blue with the name of baby Pamintuan. That’s when I knew that he was my son and I cried. I thought how blessed am I to fall in love with someone over again and to find 2 people that I love more than myself. I look at both of you and know that my heart will always be with you.

We aren’t perfect people. We are having a rough patch now and maybe more in the future but just know that whatever hardships we face in life just know I will never let go of you. When the going gets tough just remember where we were and know that ever comes in our lives my love for you will never go. even if I lose my mind. I will love your for the first time every time. TC mark

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