They say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and if this is in fact the case, then why hasn’t someone taken the initiative to organise a gathering somewhere on neutral ground where we can have a few drinks and dispel a few of the most confounding myths that keep the two sexes so damn divided? If I had a dollar for every time I heard a girlfriend say: “I will never understand men” in response to receiving yet another mystifying message I could fund this gathering myself, take it on a round the world trip via business class and still have cash to splash…
But sadly the only thing I get in return is an even more skewed perception of the inner workings of the male mind. But it’s not entirely their fault, and it’s about high time us women took the high road and took some of the responsibility… it takes two to tango after all. You may think women care about these things but news flash, we really don’t…
1. Having a perfect body.
Despite what the movies would have you believe, women’s be all and end all in life isn’t to lock down a Channing Tatum circa Magic Mike stunt double. In fact, truth be told, there’s something enigmatically sexy about a man who unashamedly flaunts a dad bod. In the same way you don’t expect us to look like we fell off the Victorias Secret runway, we don’t expect you to be harbouring a set of abs that are so chiselled you could grate cheese on them, nor do we place a huge amount of emphasis on how much you can bench press or the #gainz you made this week. What we do care about is the confidence you have in your body and in yourself – and that’s something no amount of lifting or creatine is going to hide… trust us the only people those bros are fooling with their incessant grunting and unnerving staring are themselves.
2. How much you earn.
This is perhaps the biggest – and not to mention most out-dated misconception out there. The idea that a man needs to bank roll a woman for her to find him attractive is as ridiculous as Solange Knowles’ not so mellow yellow Met Gala ensemble. We’re big girls, girls who earn our money and can happily fund our own lifestyles. Remember, before Becky came along and got us all sipping on lemonade, Beyoncé stood for a different anthem… an anthem that cultivated a new breed of woman…
“The shoes on my feet
… I bought ‘em
The clothes I’m wearing
… I bought ‘em
The rock I’m rocking
… I bought it
Cause I depend on me”
What we do care about is that you’re genuinely passionate about what you do… whatever it may be. Heck we don’t care if you’re out there knitting scarves for worms, as long as you do it with drive and motivation.
3. Constantly being wined and dined.
While I will admit, being taken to a restaurant that boasts dim lighting and drool worthy dessert – the kind of place that warrants control tummy shape wear – is fun from time to time, it’s not the standard women expect on the reg. Dating is about getting to know each other, and tbth, that can be hard to do when you’re trying to play adult in a fancy restaurant. Taking a unique and creative approach will score you far more brownie points than frogs legs and fromage, plus, you’ll undoubtedly have way more fun. Win win. What’s more? If you’re genuinely vibing, it won’t matter it you’re swigging beer from a brown paper bag or sipping on Bollinger in a well to do bar, chemistry and connection can be felt, but not faked.