Nothing Hurts Like Your ‘Almost’

Jakob Owens

I think it just happens – you meet someone in your life who you never thought could give you much impact.  It could be a stranger who offered you a seat in the bus. It could be your science lab partner. It could be someone in your neighborhood. It could be the guy who spilled a drink on you in the café. It could be your best friend. It could be anyone living with you under the same sky.

It’s just amazing that out of seven billion people in this world, you meet the person who makes you feel the most alive. The one you look forward to eating breakfast with every morning, who giggles at your silliest jokes, who hold hands with you at the beach, who takes you on impulsive road trips, who stays up late with you and talks about your biggest dreams and deepest fears, who takes care of you when you get drunk, who skinny-dips with you at the three in the morning, who holds you tight when you cross the busy street, who finds you adorable even with your mouth full, who climbs the fence with you when you’re past your curfew, who catches the sunrise with you and tell you are as beautiful, who kisses you when you cry. This person makes you feel so special that you couldn’t ask for anything more.

Until one morning you woke up with that heavy feeling and asked yourself “what are we?” You knew all this time that you needed an answer but you never asked him because you were afraid – afraid that he might not have actually felt the same way.

He made you feel like you’re the only girl he wanted to spend his life with. But there was always something missing – the words you’ve been secretly dying to hear: I love you.

Some days, you’re just left wondering perhaps he never said it to me because he was also afraid of my reply. But you never really knew because you two just stopped talking. No goodbyes. No explanation. It just stopped. And nothing hurts more than not knowing what it all meant, why it ended, and what you meant to that person. Nothing hurts like your “almost.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

21-year-old researcher from University of the Philippines

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