You may have long hair and strut around town in heels and dresses. But deep down, you secretly love to swear, talk straight to people and have an instant connection with your guy friends on topics such as football, cars and the stock market. Topics like baking, knitting and beauty products bore you to bits. Friends call you a walking contradiction.
Here are 12 struggles of a lady who thinks like a man – those guilty would find them very familiar.
1. You detest Public Displays of Affection
You hate displaying affection in public. Hugging at bus stops, or kissing in the middle of the pavement or on the subway are majors no nos. You get absolutely annoyed when your other half tries to spoon feed you at restaurants.
2. You need your own personal space
If you have a boyfriend, hanging out almost every day is just WAY too much. You relish the opportunity to have personal time alone, be it to read a book, have a coffee or play a computer game. Requests to meet up more than 3 times a week Scares you.
3. You think flowers are a waste of money
No matter how big and bright the sunflowers of the bouquet are, or how lovely the champagne rose is, you fail to appreciate them as gifts. You think they are a big waste of money. You chide your other half for getting you flowers, especially on Valentine’s Day. Instead of flowers, why not get chocolates or some wine instead?
4. You get angry when you’re hungry
All your travel buddies know that the best way to keep you happy on a trip is to feed you at regular intervals. You are on the constant lookout for food during meal times. You cannot function properly with an empty stomach.
5. You drink better than most guys
Also known to be the ‘Iron Liver’ in the group, you’ll well-known for your alcohol tolerance and capability to be the last one standing at drinking games. You end up sending home your guy friends at times.
6. You try your best not to swear, but can’t seem to succeed
Your swear jar is almost full and your friends have given up on helping you. Girlfriends have hinted that you should speak softer, in a much gentler manner. But you just can’t seem to change.
7. You hate buying presents and are always leaving them to the last minute
You struggle to buy presents for your loved one on birthdays, anniversaries and events like Christmas. You usually leave the gift-buying to the last and end up going on a frenzied search for presents. When asked on when the shopping of presents were done, you’re forced to say ‘last week’ when it is actually hours just before the meet up.
8. You offend people with your straight talking ways, and only realise it much later
Passive aggressive people avoid you like plague, because they are never able to get what they want from you. You find that you have a larger circle of guy friends, as they are easier to talk to and don’t get angry with you as much. You offend people only to realise it much later, when someone else tells you straight.
9. You don’t bear grudges
You don’t remember past mistakes or grievances. In a fight, you like to be objective and resolve the specific issue on hand. Personal attacks and name calling are major no nos.
10. You find it difficult to have common topics with girls on cosmetics, beauty products and branded bags
Make up only exists to help you look professional for a job. You cannot seem to carry on a conversation on Chanel, Prada, Burberry, SKII and Lancôme for more than five minutes.
You would prefer to be discussing the geopolitical situation in the Middle East and if that will be affecting the recent bull run of the stock market.
11. When unhappy, you’re confrontational
Unlike your girlfriends who tend to be silent as an expression of their anger, you prefer to thrash things out immediately. You absolutely cannot take it when the other party just keeps quiet. You don’t fare very well in Cold Wars.
12. On trips, you’d rather visit a football stadium than go outlet shopping
It’s much better to check out Cristiano Ronaldo’s locker room, than to take an hour drive out of the city in the search for Prada bags and Gucci wallets. Seeing a stadium full of blue plastic seats and green carpet grass is somehow more fulfilling that an acquisition of a Louis Vuitton bag.
And so what if you’re a walking contradiction? Be glad that you are one in the million, and there is no one who is remotely similar to you. Take comfort in the fact that your close friends must really love you for the way you are. After all, Steve Harvey in his book, did advise readers to Act Like a Lady and Think Like a Man.