1. Maybe there’s something wrong with your resume.
2. It’s time you suck it up and take a job doing something else.
3. You have to pay your dues.
4. Maybe it has to do with your attitude about being unemployed.
5. How long has it been since you graduated? I thought you’d have a job by now.
(Yeah, me, too.)
6. Maybe you’re just not looking in the right places.
7. Are you even still looking at all?
8. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. You’re lucky you don’t work a lot. (Um, if you don’t want your job, I’ll gladly take it over my part time work, thank you.)
9. I feel like such an adult with my full time job. You’re lucky you don’t have to be an adult. Must be nice. (Oh, its really nice not being able to support myself, making minimum wage working with a bunch of high schoolers in the mall. Yeah.)
10. You must have so much time on your hands.
11. Just wait your turn. (I’m waiting…still waiting…)
12. Patience is a virtue.
13. Maybe your standards are too high.
14. It’ll happen when the time is right.
15. Are you sure you want to go out for drinks? You probably don’t have much money to spare.
16. You shouldn’t have majored in (insert your college major here).
17. Maybe you should just go to grad school. (With what money? Are you offering to pay tuition?)
18. How many interviews have you had? Maybe your interview skills are the problem.
19. You need to broaden your horizons and be willing to move. Why don’t you move to (insert name of random state/country). I hear there are more jobs in (insert your career field) there. (Are you paying for me to move to a new state before I get a job?)
20. Enjoy it. One day you’ll have to work. (I pray that day comes soon so I don’t have to listen to any of the things on this list anymore.)
To anyone who has a friend or family member who is struggling to find a job, just let them know that you’re there for them and it’s going to be okay. It’s okay to ask us if we have any news to share about the job search, we are glad you are interested, but if we don’t have any news, spare us the lecture on what we’re doing wrong and what we could be doing right. If you have any genuine helpful advice, like if you’ve been in our situation, share it. If you have any connections that might help us find a job, share that.
Tell us you’re sorry to that we’re struggling, and you know it sucks. Otherwise, say nothing. Don’t keep bringing it up and rubbing our faces in it. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? Odds are, if we had any news to share, we would share it.