9 Reasons Why Summer Actually Sucks

 

In the summertime when the sun is shining and birds are chirping, you never really think about the downsides. Summer sounds great on paper and all, and it’s better than the blistering cold, or rainy fall days but, there are some definite downfalls to it.

1. The Horror That Are “Short Shorts”
You know what’s the worst feeling in the world? Thighs that rub together causing a rash whenever you wear shorts. Nothing is worth that pain. On days as hot as those, don’t we all just wish we had Gigi Hadid’s thigh gap? But, at least on the days where you almost drop your phone in the toilet and your chunky thighs save it, you can be grateful for them.

2. Cellulite Is The New Black
In the summertime, you can’t hide from your cellulite. However, what’s a bit comforting is that almost everyone, even the photoshopped beauties on Instagram, have cellulite. Maybe it’s part of our millennial generation, or our ice cream binges, but there’s absolutely no getting around it.

3. Our Hair Becomes Bigger Than Our Student Debt
There’s an episode of Friends where they are all on vacation and Monica can’t control her horrendous hair. We can all relate to that, can’t we? Summer is basically that episode on repeat for everyone.

4. Help, Our Faces Are Melting Away
What’s the point of contouring if it’s just going to drip down our faces? On the days where the humidity is booming and the sun is shining, we look like parody YouTube makeup tutorials.

5. A 9-5 Job = No Patio Season
There’s nothing wrong with working a nine to five job during a Canadian winter wonderland. But, it’s a whole other story if you have to work your eight hour shift while staring longingly at people eating ice cream and drinking sangrias on the patio.

6. It’s Allergy Season
Is it pollen season? Ragweed time? Whatever it is, it makes everyone look higher than Snoop Dogg or Snoop Lion. We all need pumps full of antihistamines to even get by.

7. What’s Victoria’s Secret?!
Yay, teeny weeny polka dot bikinis that barely fit! It’s as if a normal human being size doesn’t exist and we are all supposed to morph into a Barbie to rock those things. Maybe we can all pretend that a 2016 size small is actually a 1990 extra extra small, and a medium today is actually an 1990 extra small.

8. New Friends
When none of your friends have pools, the best thing to do is break Drake’s motto of “no new friends no no no” and make the right friends…friends with pools.

9. Wax, Pluck, Shave.

Gone are the days of winter hibernation. Back when the temperature was much lower, our standards of self maintenance were lower too. It was nice being able to braid our lower leg hair while the cold lasted.