Being Depressed Has Benefits

Depression may seem like something the majority of the population tries to avoid, but let me tell you from experience, it ain’t half bad. I was mildly depressed as a teenager and it kind of sucked, but that’s only because my adolescent self didn’t know how to recognize this beautiful gift that was being bestowed upon me. Now depression is a serious matter that shouldn’t be taken lightly. I can tell you from experience how the loss of energy, sadness, and disinterest in life makes you no fun at all. But come on baby! Teenagedom is but a distant memory now that you’re in your 20’s and in control of your brain homeostasis. So, depression, even though you made me question my sanity at 16, here’s a few positive aspects you possess that the world just can’t seem to understand.

5. Depression gets you attention if you’re a middle child

I am a middle child. This is probably the hardest thing to cope with in the universe. The oldest sibling can do absolutely no wrong and the youngest sibling receives all the love and the illest Christmas presents. What do middle children get? Indifference. And what do we want the most? ATTENTION. This is where the big D comes in handy. It is scientifically proven that depression will drive family members to a middle child like ignorance draws in Republicans. So even though your older sister is the darling of the family and your younger brother is almost 21 and is still allowed to submit Christmas Lists to your parents, rejoice middleseed, ‘cause when depression hits it is momentarily all about you.

4. Depression keeps unwanted people at bay

If you’re not an attention seeker adhere to this precept. Ever tire of hearing about your coworkers fishing trip stories? Are you sick of giving your relationship-hungry friend advice? Well then a teaspoon of melancholy should cure this unwanted melodrama. Depression puts up a certain wall that reads ‘keep your problems at a distance because I’m just too mentally fatigued to give a shit.’ You may be a drag to be around but at least you can avoid forced conversations or that awkward lunch with your boss.

3. Depression weakens your appetite

This may seem like a negative thing to say, but usually when you’re depressed the dollar menu at Wendy’s is just not numero uno on your do to list. Let’s put it this way: do you want to be happy and have atherosclerosis in your arteries, or not have the desire to eat and fit into your new Levis? Thought so.

2. Depression is sexy

Anytime a bout of depression strikes me now and lowers my energy I take this as a blessing. My personality is naturally energetic/goofballish. Not a good look. It is a known fact that the opposite sex does not find hyperactivity sexy. So use this new state of cool as a weapon to up your mojo. Even though the depression will make your desire to have sex nil to zero, at least your increased level of swag will compensate for not being able to get it up.

1. Depression Gives You Incredible Sleep

Although I am well aware of the plethora of adverse effects depression offers, including irregular sleeping patterns, when it comes to keeping me in deep slumber it’s the friend I can continuously count on in onslaughts of insomnia. I haven’t been able to sleep for the majority of the year due to work, stress etc. This week, however, I’ve been kind of down (blessing in disguise) and decided to take a nap. I haven’t taken one of these things in a year so I doubted I could fall or stay asleep if that. An hour later I awoke from the best fucking nap of my life. I think you finally catch my drift. TC mark


More From Thought Catalog

  • Depressed Fatty

    Weakens your appetite? I go through my whole pantry and then make a McDonald's trip when I go through periods of depression.


      I ate three boxes of girl scout cookies one weekend while feeling only a little morose. I'd hate to see what I could do to the larger girl scout organization if I was clinically depressed.

      • Asd

        That’s where I am right now.  All I want to do is sleep and eat.  I eat mountains between my 5 hour naps.  Oh yeah, and I can never sleep at night.  The writer is clearly an idiot

  • You're an idiot

    You've obviously never experienced the type of depression that affects 80% of everyone else. Things like inattention, fatigue, overeating, insomnia, medication side effects and general malaise are nothing to be taken lightly. Furthermore, I'd be hard pressed to find any real “benefits” in those symptoms.

  • Human

    I thought this was going to be scientific or humorous but instead it's just really insensitive. At least go for some hyperbole instead of boring faux facts about how you're better at being depressed than people who actually are. Definitely the worst thing I've seen on thought catalog so far.

    • oliveroars


  • Asha

    I do believe that depression has it's benefits but I'm not so sure about the appetite thing. It takes more effort for me to avoid the carbs than it does for a non-depressed person. I would also say that the sleep thing is actually a bad thing. It's definitely deep sleep but it's an overabundance and after constant naps I feel even more depressed because I wasted an entire day. But it's obviously an individual experience. I liked this!

    • Asha

      Sorry for using the wrong from of “it” there.

  • Happily Depressed

    I may have to agree… I tend to eat a lot when depressed… Doesn't work for everyone… but I agree with the other reasons to get depressed. ;)

  • lando

    the only thing that is agreeable is the sexiness factor, but alas a truly depressed person does not make sexual advances, so it is a waste of sexiness

  • EmiliaBedelia

    are responses to this article going to increase or decrease your depression?


      I'm kinda surprised this article was approved or received more than one response actually, so it's indifferent for the time being.

  • you are indeed an idiot

    This article is the extended edition of that horrible High Fidelity quote about how you can behave as badly as you like when you're depressed.

    Oh yeah. Constant crying, feelings of utter worthlessness and thoughts about how I don't want to live anymore, friends who don't want to talk to me because my mood is “contagious”, insomnia and oh, constant thoughts about not wanting to live anymore… I'm having a fucking blast over here.

  • Greg Petliski

    Fuck if #2 doesn't resonate with me. “My personality is naturally energetic/goofballish. Not a good look. It is a known fact that the opposite sex does not find hyperactivity sexy. So use this new state of cool as a weapon to up your mojo.”

  • Seriously?

    I struggle with depression, as well as a mood disorder, and I found this article to be personally offensive.

    5. Nobody, not even a middle child like myself, likes receiving attention from family as a result of depression. It's embarrassing because you feel like you can't take care of yourself, and it's exhausting because you literally do not have the energy to do anything but lay in bed and wish it would all stop.

    4. Isolation doesn't feel good, especially not when you already feel like you're all alone in the world. Friends stop calling because you're always down and then BAM. You really are alone.

    3. Speaking from experience, I would much rather have the desire to eat something than fit into some stupid FUCKING Levi's. When you're stomach feels like it's eating itself from the inside out, and you have food sitting right in front of you, and it STILL nauseates you just to look at it….Then come talk to me.

    2. Losing the desire to have sex sucks. DUH. Especially if you're in an established relationship, and you normally love having sex any day of the week, and then you have to try and explain to your partner that it isn't them…It's just that the idea repulses you and you barely have the energy to sit up anyway let alone do the nasty.

    1. Sleeping while depressed is one of the worst symptoms. You lose all energy to do anything but lay there. You don't get out of bed for showers, for food, for class, for work, for dates, for family functions and the list goes on. It is debilitating, it causes fatigue in your muscles, and it only makes everything gradually get worse.

    Although this article started out with some sort of half-assed explanation about how the author suffered from mild depression during his teenage years, it felt to me like whoever wrote this really had no inkling about the devastating effects depression has on lives – nor did he really care. Everything is a joke, all of these symptoms are “benefits” and it's okay to laugh because Hey! It's happened to me too!

    My overall reaction to this article is a hearty FUCK YOU.

    • Guest

      Honestly, the first lines are what annoys me the most. “Guys I was ~*~midly depressed~*~ when I was sixteen I TOTES KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT DEPRESSION GUYS”
      It's a “beautiful gift” alright.

    • Andy

      come on, it wasn't serious.

  • didya_get_pears

    This article was incredibly insensitive and offensive. Depression is a disease, just the same as any other. You wouldn't write an article about the “Benefits of Cancer” or “The Positive Aspects of Heart Disease.”

    Perhaps you should use a bit more tact in your writing.

    • Naked&Famous

      I know a few people who deal with their cancer by making jokes about it. Want to know why? Because they have a sense of humor. What's your problem?

      The author is trying to lighten his own personal load that depression has forced upon him, and I give him kudos.

  • Becky Lang

    get a sense of humor people. she's making fun of insensitivity to depression. did you not get that?

    • No Bueno

      I had mild depression and found this pretty funny. People need to lighten up.

      • Guest

        Hey guess what, “ligthening up” is pretty hard when you suffer from, you know, depression.

        Especially when some asshole is using his teen angst to be unfunny about a serious illness.

      • Andrew F.

        – said the angsty, anonymous complainer.

    • Josh

      Be thankful you 'get' this uber advanced irony, I guess? Just a poorly written article. If this guy was a comedian, he would get booed off stage because the delivery is what matters.

  • Kari Paul

    I think this is supposed to be satire, but it isn't clear enough if it is or not to be funny…and if it isn't satire it really is offensive to those of us who have experienced depression. This is in poor taste.

  • Bomi Oladosu

    My conclusion about this thought is that you're either gonna hate it because you have depression or smirk at it because you have depression. I read it and I smirked at it. I thought of it as a sardonic way to view depression. That said, if you don't like sarcasm and have depression/know someone with depression, you will be offended. ::shrug::

  • Unga-bunga

    Hey guys! Neither of you have depression. You are just cretins.
    No need to thank. Bye!

  • genna mae

    Fuck. This.

    I get that it's supposed to be funny. I actually laughed at the Levi's comment, but immediately realized afterward that this is my reality, and not one that is humorous. It's hard to have a sense of humor about something I can't get help for. (I'm on study abroad and can't speak the language very well, don't have friends here because I never feel like leaving my room, don't feel like complaining to my friends in the States who hardly ever talk to me anyway, and have no idea who I could talk to about finding help.)
    Being depressed in high school was so much easier than this; even if my parents ignored everything, at least they were around to kick my ass out of bed in the morning. Where's my morning ass-kick now?

    In the past nine years, there has only been a ten-month break in my depression. Those ten months were fucking amazing, and I would give anything to have that back. It would be nice to do something with my life again.
    There's nothing good about becoming a sad little attention whore or a frail recluse that can't get out of bed. Guys don't think this is sexy in a girl, and nothing reinforces that thought like having a year-and-a-half-long dry spell. Depression is ruining everything about my life, and I wish it would stop. I feel like a waste of space and breath.

    I don't think I clearly understand the author's current mental state, but it doesn't matter. Dude should have some fucking sensitivity.

    • Andrew F.

      TC satirizes awful things so we can, at least for a moment, cope with them. Get on board and stop harshing the vibe.

    • Naked&Famous

      Meh, I think you should learn to cope like the author has learned to cope. He's funny, what are you? Start a diary… or maybe step out of your dorm room and explore your new/foreign surroundings. Drink a beer, find a friend, make mistakes.

      • genna mae

        I don't know how to cope with this? REALLY. At least I'm not the dick telling everyone to have a sense of humor about this bullshit.
        I've only reached this point after three months of going out, *trying* to make friends, etc. Shit isn't easy here; people are generally not interested in befriending outsiders, and I am only making my first contact with other exchange students next week. There's only so much I can take of being alone.

        There's a lot more to my situation than you would care to know, and frankly I feel I've given more of a response than your reply warranted. I guess I was hoping someone would understand me.

      • Tim

        Hey Genna, know that there are people out there who understand and share your POV. Not all of us are trying to tell you that your feelings aren't justified. Chin up though soldier.

      • Naked&Famous

        I dunno man, I'm not your fucking therapist, thank god. Person-to-person, I would suggest trying to make some changes in your life to improve your situation rather than bad-mouthing a complete stranger's article on his own personal coping mechanism. You're out studying abroad, learning a new language on your parents' dime instead of sitting on your ass in the states playing Xbox, must be pretty brutal. I feel bad for you. No really, I feel bad for you.


         “on your parents’ dime” … not everyone dude. Also I smell some jealousy coming from you, should have just said so. I was in the same shoes as Genna Mae was, one option I could give is to get out. I had nothing waiting for me, and situation that caused depression was not going to be resolved in 3 years. If that is the case I suggest leaving, no reason to get through or medicate yourself . 

  • patty hearst SLA

    oh c'mon! if you are truly depressed, like me, then this article wouldn't affect you. NOTHING MATTERS, remember?!

  • P. H. Madore
  • Donne

    I can't help but be kind of, ah… appalled at this.

    For one thing, not all of your readers ARE beyond their teenage years, so that's hardly a plus! And sure, depression can get you attention (#5). However, not only is it an unhealthy way to do so, but because of shame about your depression (and out of an obligation to be happy for another person, maybe), a person with depression may HIDE it. And even if they don't, family members aren't guaranteed to be sympathetic at all, especially if they have a history of ignoring you.

    Other aspects of this article might be putting a positive spin on a horrible thing, and I guess that's commendable, but taking it too far wouldn't be good either.

    Smiles are proven to attract people. And if you're moping about and scaring off all your coworkers and other people who want/need to talk to you (#4), why would members of the attractive sex want to attempt approaching you (#2)?

    Not eating (#3) can have a serious impact on your health, too. And if you're tired more often than usual (#1) but have a schedule that allows you only a limited amount of sleep, you're worse off then you were before!

    Maybe I'm thinking of a different kind of depression than you are, though, just from my own experience? I'm thinking of the self-loathing, waking-up-every-day-wishing-you-were-dead, feeling-like-life-is-useless, fantasizing-killing-yourself, hyper-critical-of-every-move-you-make, accepting-that-nothing-will-ever-change kind of depression. Your kind of depression sounds more to me as occasional crankiness and some irregularity in body cycles.

    I don't mean to downplay your own experience with depression as not serious, but… it sounds to me like that's what you yourself are trying to do here?

  • Guest

    Sounds like what a moody teenager would think/hope depression was like. Not remotely offensive though.

  • David St Bernard

    The only thing that ever worked for me was empathy and music.

    Leaving myself at the feet of someone else, utterly fragile, and have them not abuse me – on the contrary, respond surprisingly positively towards me – has been my only saviour. <– previously :)

    There's so much music about depression. Try searching for new songs. Look up a phrase that describes how you feel + “lyrics” on Google. See what pops up.

    The weight of the world is heavy, but as corny as it sounds, we are all holding it up together. Maybe we just need to rearrange our shares….

    <– “The Weight” by The Band

  • Dave P

    People being offended on the internet are depressing. This compounds my existing depression, and I am therefore offended by such people. That these people are depressed themselves exacerbates said depression and being offended. Going to go try on my skinny jeans now to see it they fit yet and then take another nap.


      Make it a good one Mr P…make it a good one

  • LDN

    you know writing is good when it pisses people off

    i'm not even being sarcastic

    • Tim

      How on earth is that true?

      Fuck Jews, fuck Niggers, fuck Homosexuals, fuck women.

      There, that should offend a nice solid number of people. Does that make it good writing?

  • Tim

    Fuck you man. This seriously fucking upsets me. If you haven't been through depression then you have no right to write this article. And if you have, then maybe you could respect the fact that it's not a walk in the park for all of us huh?

    You can wave it off as people being overly sensitive, not knowing how to take a joke, etc, but the fact of the matter is that as someone who's been through depression, and not the most serious one either (I don't want to know what that hell looks like), I am hurt and offended by this article. I don't like talking about my depression because I hate to sound like I was a victim or a martyr, but if you're going to write something like this then you should know that this is incredibly insensitive.

    I agree about this being the first thing I've really hated on Thought Catalog. A lot of other articles I dislike, but I can accept they're just not to my tastes. This is just plain shitty though.

    You can laugh the negative reactions off, but I hope you do the mature thing and accept that you've unnecessarily hurt probably quite a few people by writing this, and show some sign of humility and empathy by apologising for it.

    • Gabrielle Bodek

      They say laughter is the ultimate cure. I have bipolar disorder (which includes serious depression) and nothing feeds it like wallowing in your misery. You gotta start somewhere, and you can start by appreciating aspects of it.

      • Tim

        I understand your point of view, and in retrospect I can certainly appreciate how important always trying to maintain a positive attitude was for dealing with my depression. It's great if you can joke about it and that can help you feel better But I think something that a lot of commenters here are expressing is that not all people who suffer/have suffered from it do feel that way about it. It's like if you told a racist joke about X ethnic group; some people from X ethnic group would be fine with that joke, and laugh too, but other people wouldn't be and would feel victimised. And just like many of the upset commentors for this article, I'm arguing they'd be very justified in their being offended.

  • xmkdz

    8.5/10 troll, good job

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