On Searching For Connection

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Brooke Winters / Unsplash

Searching for a sense of connection with someone is like entering an unfamiliar world. I think that we all share that longing to be understood, to be seen by someone else. A friend, a person we fall in love with, or even a stranger who “just gets it.”

The way I see it, it’s like standing on the edge of the woods. You know that there’s someone else on the other side, standing in the clear. There’s the potential that in order to get there, they too had to go through to the woods in order to get to the other side. If that’s the case, then just maybe, they would also like you for you.

So you reach out, you have to even though your ghosts are whispering,

“This isn’t going to work.”

“They aren’t going to feel the same way.”

“YOU’RE going to mess this up.”

You have to be willing to ignore the whispers and past histories that look up as you make your way through the thick of it. It becomes almost like a chorus of apathy, with a lie you’ve tattooed on your tongue because someone else told you so. Yes, you will second guess yourself and the word that you say. But you have to be willing to take off the costume you’ve grown a used to wearing and stand as yourself.

There’s great risk in searching out those people who do have a connection with you. I can’t lie and say that everyone is going to like you or want to be friends with you or even say that they too feel the way that you do. There are going to be the ones who choose that they don’t want to get to know you more than a hello and small talk. But this can’t stop you.

I feel that it’s far braver to find people in places you never expected. To look beyond the past and see the potentials on the horizon. You should want connection, you should want to not settle. Yes, it will test you, but it will also make your braver. Braver to step out again and put yourself on the line. Braver to being open to someone else reaching out to you first. Surprising you because they do want to get to know you, they do want more than just hello and how are you.

We ultimately must decide whether the need for connection is stronger than the doubt of connections. Can you embrace the vulnerability that you’ve long kept locked up and guarded by the fear? Can you willingly be okay with the potential for either devastation or acceptance? It’s a work in progress, but it’s oh so cool when we encounter those people who are worth stepping out into the delicate area that is beginning a friendship. TC mark

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