1. You’ll never find your Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts love.
There’s supposed to be this alternate reality we’ve all become too comfortable accepting. The geek gets the girl. This “geek” who is an unsurpassable heartthrob to every high school aged girl in America. He was the perfect combination of “cute” yet “nerdy” and Summer was the bitchy, sexy, popular girl who of course had this strange inclination to give the geek a chance and the rest was never the same. Heads up to the nerdy boys, your Summer is not coming. Wake up call to the popular girls, the nerdy boys aren’t going to be that heartthrob you’ve been searching for. Stick to your quo and move on.
2. Joey Potter found TWO soul mates, GOOD LUCK.
Somehow Joey Potter had to make the difficult choice that left every teenage girl on the edge of her seat, Pacey or Dawson? Now we all clearly know who the fan favorite was (Team Pacey) but what the hell? This girl gets two “soul mates” swooning over her for six seasons and she can’t make up her mind. Now I don’t know about you but when I was in high school, one “soul mate” was a dream, two, well “I can’t even”.
3. Haley and Nathan would have never stayed together in our time
Like seriously Haley? You get your “boyfriend’s” name tattooed on you, get married and lose your virginity in the same week and we’re supposed to think that you’re the good girl who fell in love? You slut it out girl, you let it all go for the first jock that took a little bit of time to give you some attention. Of course she was pregnant by graduation, went on tour for a music career, cheated on her husband, begged for forgiveness, and lived happily ever after. Obviously.
4. The Brooding Bad Boy will not always save the day
Ladies, you can’t always expect the Ryan Atwood to save the day. I’m looking at you Marissa Cooper. He was there every fight with a boyfriend, every time she came home drunk, every time she overdosed in an alley in Tijuana. Somehow this guy found his way into every issue Marissa got into. If you plan to dabble in danger, just a little bit, like Marissa, don’t expect the foster child from Chino to pick up your pieces, not gonna happen.
5. Chances are The Girl You Threw Dirt At will not be your future wife
We all loved following Corey and Topanga, the greatest love story since your parents’. They met on the playground, shared their first kiss, their first sexual encounter, gave up their futures for each other and ended up living happily ever after, with a spin off. I’ve thrown dirt at a lot of girls in my day, most of which never even looked in my direction again. Guys, don’t throw dirt, it ain’t cute. Ladies, if he throws dirt, chances are, he thinks you’re heinous, move along.
6. Arrogant Douchey Rich Guys aren’t going to change for you
Oh trust me we all know you’re in love with Chuck Bass, what he did for Blair Waldorf, changing his ways, professing his love, well he was just perfect right? Now to just find a rich boy who is going to change his ways for you, give it all up, risk everything for love. Yeah, pretty sure that won’t happen. What runs the world? CASH! It’s not likely that any rich boy is risking his stash for you, no matter what you bring to the table, keep searching for your Dan Humphrey, the liberal boy, middle class, who is more likely to be your man, oh and also Gossip Girl, xoxo.
7. You and your friends will NOT all end up at the same college
Flash forward high school ended and you’re in college. Look around do you see every single one of your best friends? Are you all majoring in the same thing? All of your classes seem to match up exactly the same right? No? Oh wow what a shame. As in every show that tries to entertain the idea of college, we are told that all of our friends and ourselves will end up together in college, taking all the same classes, drinking coffee in the student union that seemingly only has one couch and we get dibs every day. Surprisingly enough, this will not happen but good luck living the dream!