Life is all about choices. We choose what car we’ll drive, what country we’ll live in, what dress we’ll buy, even what career we’ll pursue. But a question I’ve been struggling to answer is: do we choose love?
Cause every time I think to myself ‘I chose you’, I realize that I didn’t. I had no choice in the matter. My heart made the choice. During a random encounter, on a random day, while I was minding my own business and not feeling a care in the world, my heart chose you.
It didn’t make sense to me at the time. I barely knew you. But my heart made it feel as though I’ve known you forever. Like maybe we had met in another lifetime and our paths were intertwining again. Like maybe I’d seen you somewhere or talked to you about something. Whatever it was — I liked the feeling.
I wish I could explain the feeling. The feeling where you look at someone and know they’re it. Whatever ‘it’ is. But, I can’t. Because I didn’t actively choose the feeling. It chose me.
I’ve tried since to un-choose it and give someone else a chance. But, I haven’t been able to. I guess I’ve realized that if love was a choice, people would choose someone kinder and less toxic. If love was a choice, people would choose someone they were more compatible with. If love was a choice, people would choose correctly.
But we don’t choose love. We choose who we love. And we actively make that choice. Sometimes over and over again. We choose who we will marry and share our children with. We choose who we will build a legacy and lifetime with. We choose who we will learn from and lean on. We choose who we will grow with and grow for. We choose to love.
But to the lucky few who don’t have to choose, be thankful, because it hasn’t been that easy for the rest of us.