I Am Who I Am

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I won’t apologize for being a big ball of mush. I cry when I’m sad and when I’m happy. I love too hard and break too easily. I believe that romance isn’t dead and that everyone deserves to be loved. I try to see the good in people, even when they don’t see the good in me. I love unapologetically, courageously, and wholeheartedly.

And the people I love, they don’t go a day wondering if they’re wanted, because I always remind them. They don’t go a day wondering if they’re enough, because I always encourage them. They don’t go a day wishing for more, because I always give them enough. Sometimes too much.

I regret giving too much. Too much pushes people away. But I’ve tried the latter, and I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel true. I’d rather push the wrong ones away than change who I am.

So if you’re looking for something different, look elsewhere. Because I like me. I like that I sit in theater seats sobbing like a child after watching a really good movie. I like that I get excited about babies that smile and wave at me. I like that I’m always the shoulder friends cry on, because I listen with empathy and promise to take their secrets to the grave. I like that I smile at strangers, even when they don’t smile back. I like that I start random conversations with people on the elevator. I like that I’m a big ball of mush.

I even like the bad parts of being the way that I am. Like when I get really angry sometimes that I shut down. Like the fact that I can tell you exactly when you’ve upset me and why. Like the fact that I can’t pretend when I’m not okay.

I can’t act heartless or cold or rigid. I don’t know any tricks. And I don’t play any games. I am who I am. And I’m unapologetically, courageously, wholeheartedly waiting to be loved for it. TC mark

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