You’ve said the words “it’s not you, it’s me” for far too long to not start to truly believe them. To not start to believe that indeed your time to love has not come yet because somehow you end up hurting whoever you decide to love. And that’s what you do best. You hurt people. You’re selfish and you just don’t know how to love well.
This is for the girls who read the posts about “guys” or “f*ck boys” and think, ‘wait a minute, that’s me.’
This is for the girls that didn’t know that they were “emotionally unavailable” until they read a post about a guy that sounded just like them.
This is for the girls who don’t run away because of the possibility of their hearts getting broken but rather the possibility of breaking someone’s heart. again.
This is for the girls who just don’t and yet really want to know why they are this way. What childhood experience, what hurtful words, what stupid boy, what stupid girl, what past relationship, what movie, what friends, what thoughts… what caused this?
You’ve run out of excuses, you’ve run out of ways to justify your behavior and this person that you become when someone gets too close.
The world has shut you up for so long by constantly talking about emotionally unavailable GUYS. You don’t know where you fit into that equation. You don’t seem to understand why you relate to all the tweets, the posts, the articles, the memes, the funny videos, the movies, the books… and yet none of them is really addressed to you.
You want to take the blame, surely that will lessen the guilt you face from being an “emotionally unavailable” GIRL.
But that’s the thing though, you can’t really take the blame and own it, ‘cause you’re not a guy. You’re not allowed to be emotionally unavailable.
You’re not allowed to play the games or admit that you play the games. You’re not allowed to “relate” to those memes and posts and articles. No, Society won’t let you.
Your voice has been silenced. Amplified is the voice that screams ‘all men are trash’. Even more amplified is the voice that says all women should be just the right kind of emotional, just the right amount of vulnerable, perfectly submissive, great listeners, wonderful careers, securely attached and God forbid you even think about being the heart-breaker in the relationship, the dumper and not the dumpee. God forbid you or your decisions make a man feel like less than he should.
That’s all you’ve been told, isn’t it?