This Is What It Means To Forgive By Forgetting

person holding white petaled flower
Evan Kirby / Unsplash

To forgive is to forget.

But what are we forgetting, really? What do we need to forget in order to say we have truly forgiven?

The past little while, as I traversed the grueling path towards peace of mind, I have slowly learned the appropriate definition I want to give the words “forget” and “forgive.”

To me, it is not that I let slip what was done. It is that I choose to see what I can do to change how I feel about it.

It is not discounting the pain I felt but not giving it the privilege to continue to hurt me. Not rushing myself to discard that pain but choosing to immediately dispose of the anger and the resentment.

It is not turning a blind eye on the unacceptable words or actions but finding the good in the experience. It is knowing that the inappropriate treatment I received has led me to know myself more and appreciate the people who treat me right.

It is not about overlooking the helplessness it made me feel but appreciating the strength I found in me as I struggled to overcome it.

Forgiving, to me, is not necessarily deleting from my memory what had happened, but instead, not having the same reaction whenever I recall them. It is about finding peace in the most chaotic of situations and looking forward to when things get better.

It is choosing to continue on, to trust, to be kind, to be humble, to acknowledge your mistakes, to understand, to love, to respect. What is in my past will always be a part of me, but it doesn’t necessarily have to play a vital role in my present or in my future.

It is opting to not cry over what was, but instead celebrating what is and eagerly anticipating what will be.

Forgiving by forgetting means taking control of the power other people have over you by not giving them the reaction they work so hard to achieve. It means not being weighed down by the anger or the indifference, not being bound by the need to fight back.

It means giving second chances to those you wish to stay in your life and walking away from those who don’t matter. It means choosing yourself every day, picking peace of mind over anything else.

Forgiving and forgetting means making your life a whole lot simpler and your burdens easier to bear.

It means knowing that the people or things that hurt you did not take anything away from your being but instead helped you gain so much more. TC mark

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