I Know You Have Your Reasons

woman wearing gray cardigan surrounded grass
Chad Madden / Unsplash

I know you have your reasons.

I know you have your reasons for hanging onto someone who is no longer meant for you. Or maybe someone that never was. For continuing to believe that one day, they’ll come waltzing back into your life.

I know you have your reasons for subjecting yourself to the pain of reliving the memories that should have been tucked away in the most remote part of your brain long ago.

I know you have your reasons for being weak at times and allowing your emotions to get the better of you and that you struggle so much to contain yourself some days.

I know you have your reasons for choosing to hang on to the anger and the pain because it means another day with them in your life, instead of bravely facing each day without them.

I know you have your reasons for tormenting yourself by secretly rereading their messages, looking at their pictures, and wondering how they are doing without you.

I know you have your reasons for losing sleep thinking about them while they sleep without any thoughts of you.

I want to say I know you have your reasons for choosing to hurt yourself day in and day out instead of facing the reality that you need to move on. For still longing to be with them after all the pain they put you through and for allowing them to continue to do so. But for right now, here’s what I know.

I know I do not like seeing you that way. I know I hate the fact that the love and support your family and your friends have been eagerly offering you will never be enough to fill the void created by the love you lost. I know you have turned into someone I do not know anymore, and maybe, just maybe, someone you don’t either.

So, my friend, forgive me for days when I say I choose to not want to understand the reasons why you willingly neglect the person you were and continue to blindly trade it in for someone you’re not.

Because for whatever reasons you have, I think you fail to see that you are not only hurting yourself, you are also hurting the people who truly and genuinely care for you. The people who should matter more than the one who did not hesitate to walk away. TC mark

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