I wish I can stay right here forever. But tomorrow’s not guaranteed and we never really know how long we’ve got. So while I still have the luxury to, let me write this for you.
When tomorrow comes and I’m not there, I hope you’d be happy. Happy to know that despite the frustrations and disappointments I faced, the latter part of my life was filled with hope, happiness, contentment, and love.
When tomorrow comes and I’m not there, I hope you’d be proud. Proud to know you changed my life in ways no words can ever express. That you gave meaning to my existence, for which I was most grateful.
When tomorrow comes and I am not there, I hope you feel relieved. Relieved to know that, despite the wrong decisions I had made, I worked extra hard to make things right for myself and those that I love. That I left this world with no regrets, but instead with gratitude for the wisdom my mistakes gave me.
When you wake up one day and you cannot find me, I hope you’d be grateful. Grateful that I am in the best place, finally reunited with the people I had been missing so much, and that I have finally met the Father I had been yearning to meet all my life.
When a new day begins and I am no longer in your life, I hope you have no regrets. That you continue on with your life finding comfort in the thought that you had done more than enough to let me know I was loved.
They say that losing a child is the worst kind of pain one can ever feel, and since I had you, I dreaded ever feeling that pain. But later on, I realized, I’d rather feel that so you wouldn’t ever have to feel the loss of a parent. But that is not up to me.
So when the sun rises one morning and it hits you that I am forever gone, I hope the love I had left you with is more than enough to ease your pain.
When the sun sets for me for the very last time, please know that I loved and will continue to love you with all of my heart. Please know that I am proud of the boy I raised, but more of the man you strive to become. Please know, my heart is full, having had the privilege to be called your mom.