Today I Am Taking My Life Back From Anxiety

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Matheus Ferrero / Unsplash

I’m tired.

I am tired of fighting with you all the time, sick of all the unkind words that have come out of my mouth directed at you, and of all the words I received from you that I had to let out the other ear.

I am drained by the constant nagging, by you revisiting the past over and over and blaming me each time, reminding me of my faults and my failures and of the things I did not do to make things right.

I am burdened by the pressure you continuously put on me by comparing me to others, who are not any greater than me, to begin with, yet you make me believe they are. I refuse to have to prove myself over and over because the truth is, I am so much more than you give me credit for.

I am just at my wit’s end keeping up with all your worries, and the obligation to quiet you has worn me out. Your worries, in reality, are mostly baseless and unnecessary but I see no point trying to convince you to think that because you don’t listen anyway. There is no wisdom in reminding you to walk away from people and things that do not deserve to matter in the first place. From people and things that trigger unwanted emotions and bring about negativity.

I am tired. I am very tired of living with you all these years. I realize you are not good for my overall well-being and that you have got to go, yet I can’t seem to get rid of you no matter how hard I try.

But today, I am putting my foot down. I’m taking my life back.

Let this message be for the parasite that’s slowly and painfully gnawing at the reflection that stares back at me in the mirror. The parasite that’s been living in my brain all these years. That parasite called anxiety disorder.

Your residence is mine. It is my body, my brain, my being. You absolutely have no right to trespass and eventually take ownership. You have no authority to manipulate my life.

I will no longer be your slave. If you wish to continue to stay where you are, you would have to agree to the terms and conditions your so-called tenancy entails. From now on, all the thoughts that are going to enter my brain are going to be from me. And how these thoughts are going to affect me are at my discretion. You no longer have a say in any of these.

I hope the message was loud and clear. I hope I got the message across.

Your reign ends right here. Right now. TC mark

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