You’re lucky. At the same time, you’re a sad story.
I say you’re lucky: lucky to have someone love you in ways you do not deserve. And that is why you’re a sad story. Because you do not see what you got.
I would really love for you to be a fly on the wall when she talks to me about you. Even just once. I wish you would hear the sadness in her voice when she tells me what you did. AGAIN. I wish you would see the exhaustion in her eyes every time things come full circle. I wish you would see what you’ve done, and continue to do to her. I want you to hear how she still tries to find the positive in you despite all the negatives, how she gives you the benefit of the doubt and at times, even defends you.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you are solely accountable. She does this to her too. She hangs on when she’s supposed to walk away. She welcomes you with open arms and then watches, in silence, as you leave — again. She keeps her cool when she has every right to be mad. She shuts her mouth when everyone expects her to yell.
I’ve never really asked her directly why she does that to herself, or why she lets you do that to her. I think I already know. So every time things are looking up, I pray to God to let that be “her time,” that this time it’ll be for good. That this time you are man enough to keep your promise. But every time, without fail, you prove YOU’RE STILL A BOY.
I can’t tell you how many times I stopped myself from reaching out to you to just ask— maybe even considered begging — you to stop tormenting my friend. She’s just too nice. Just let her go. Make last night be the last time you will ever walk away because you are never coming back. Ever. Just let someone else love her the way she’s supposed to be loved if you really can’t find it in your heart to do so.
For all the awful things you did to her, the least you can do is to not do anything anymore. For everything you refused to give her, just give her back her life. I had to bite my tongue so many times to not say those words. Because those words shouldn’t come from my mouth. It is not my place to draw the line. It’s hers.
I hope you realize the person you’re hurting is the same person you said you’d love forever. The woman you’re taking for granted is the same girl you asked to take a chance on you. And please don’t ever forget, that person — even though she chooses to be strong and resilient, bouncing back after every blow — that same person is human. Her heart is not made of steel, neither is it shatterproof. And around her are her family and friends whose hearts break too whenever you break hers.
I hope you see what you are doing before it is too late. I hope you decide once and for all what you really want in life. I hope you learn to appreciate what you have before you lose it for good. I hope, when the time comes that you are ready to offer yourself to her, she’d still take you.