To the boy who would’ve loved her the way she wished to be loved,
You probably didn’t think she noticed, but she did. She paid attention to how you looked at her. And she was aware she was special to you. It was not like you kept it a secret anyway, you wore your heart on your sleeve.
She knew, but she pretended she didn’t. She pretended she didn’t notice the disappointment in your face when she turned you down for a date on Valentine’s Day. She acted like she did not hear your friends tease you everytime she passed you by in school. Because she was trying to hide the truth the best she can.
The truth that is, she did like you. She liked you a lot. It was not love at first sight, but there was something about your persistence, the genuine kindness in your eyes, the innocence. You kind of grew on her. And she knew her feelings were growing too.
She knew you’d be good for her. That your positivity would rub on her . That you could be someone who’d fill the void in her empty life.
She knew you could be the one. That you’d be the kind of guy that wouldn’t intentionally make her cry. The guy who wouldn’t dare break her heart. She knew you could’ve given her the world, if only she let you. But she chose to break your heart. Because you were not the kind of boy for the kind of girl she was back then.
She found herself drawn to boys that were as lost as she was, and repelled from the likes of you. Because as much as she knew you were perfect for her, she knew she’d be bad for you. She feared she didn’t deserve you and that she would end up disappointing and embarrassing you. She knew she was bound to break your heart at some point.
In the end, someone else broke her heart. And all those nights she cried herself to sleep, she thought of you. She thought about what it would’ve been like if she chose to give you a chance. If she gave herself the chance to be loved the way you would have.
But you weren’t there anymore. You had already found someone who was willing to give her heart to you. And though her heart bled a bit, she was glad you did. She was happy you found the happiness you would never have had with her.
She knew then, one day you would forget how it felt like when she was your world. She also knew, she would never forget how it felt like to be your world.