I hope you open your heart to see all the beauty and goodness that’s around you and that is still yet to find you. I hope you see that there is so much more to love than simply having someone you can call your partner. There is so much more to love than spending your days questioning the other person’s intentions in the relationship. A relationship is so much more than a label. It should be your safe space where you can bare yourself down to your weary bones and feel held through it all.
I hope you have the courage to let go of a love that doesn’t feel wholesome, that doesn’t bring calm to your soul. I hope you stop giving yourself, heart and soul, to people who don’t reciprocate how you feel and how you show up for them.
I hope you can let go of people that you don’t see yourself with years from now. Relationships that are clearly momentarily satisfying, where one or both of you know that there isn’t anything more to this but you are too afraid to walk away.
I hope you can walk away from half-loves. Walk away from the belief that this is all there is for you. That there is no possibility of something better coming your way. That is not true. There is beauty at every bend of the road, and sometimes you have to let love find you in ways that look very different from what you have experienced.
I hope you can stay in the space in between loves. Between losing the person you thought was supposed to be your forever and when the person who will make you feel loved like never before shows up. I hope you just stay here for a while, in the waiting, without rushing ahead because you fear you’ll miss out, I hope you choose to not settle for whatever comes along. I hope you can stay in the space where nothing is happening for you and still see all the little things that are coming together just for you.
If you’ve been settling in love because you’re afraid of being alone, I hope you find it in you to cultivate a love for yourself. This is the only love that won’t leave you or make you feel like you’re always reaching or striving. The love you cultivate for yourself will be a reminder that although as humans we want to be with people and enjoy doing life with them, we don’t necessarily need them to make us happy.
If you’ve been settling in love because the person you’re with is a genuinely good person, then it will be hard. But I want you to remember that being with someone good is different from being with someone who is good for you. There are plenty of good people out in the world, but the people we are meant to be with won’t make us doubt the point or direction of the relationship. And if you find yourself asking these questions when you’re with a good person, there’s nothing wrong about that. It just means you need to take a step back and ask yourself what is good for the both of you.
When we choose to hang on to relationships because they feel familiar, we deprive ourselves and the other person from the opportunity to meet someone who could love us in ways that we could never imagine. People who could bring out the truest, most beautiful parts of us and show us how we can love with every fiber of our being. If you sense that you’re not loving someone or being loved with full capacity, there’s a good chance that you might be unknowingly settling in love.