10 Things I Want To Tell You, But Can’t

1. “You wouldn’t open the car door for me, or usher me to the passenger seat but I understand that that is just who you are. You are not the gentleman type who’d overwhelm me with your decency, but I know that you wouldn’t hesitate to drive me home at two in the morning just to make sure I’m safe. And you are best like that.”
2. “It does hurt me when you speak of the girl you like. Hearing her name feels like a hundred arrows simultaneously striking my body. The thing is the wounds do not kill me immediately. I am kept alive to experience the same pain again and again.”
3. “He used to give me gifts that I have kept to this day. You didn’t bother giving me anything, but you have kept everything I have given you. He has forgotten the worth of everything I have given him. Time. Memories. Chances. But you have kept all of them to this day.”
4. “Most nights, I just feel a little contented that I could be the friend you can go to and talk. But some nights, I feel like leaving you and not caring about what you’d think about me leaving.”
5. “I love you not because we kiss. Or hug. Or hold hands. I just love you.”
6. “Everyone tells me it’s never going to be worth it, that this love’s never going to be mutual. That the best way to not get hurt more is to let go sooner.”
7. “Sometimes you would slip the words ‘I love you’ in our conversations, and I constantly wonder if you mean it or if you ever would.”
8. “I once wished I was her. But I wouldn’t be this close to you if I was. I wouldn’t know you this way if I was in her place. Or if she does know you that much, I wish she considers everything that you do and tell her special because I consider everything about you special and again, it’s unfair. You are unfair.”
9. “I’m not going to write you a love letter. It’s because I don’t even know if you call this ‘love.’ I don’t want to call our kisses love nor do our phone calls late at night. The shirt you let me borrow wasn’t love nor was the lollipop I gave you that you said you kept. The songs you sang to me and the thoughts we shared weren’t love. Even the Saturday nights we spent together weren’t love nor was the movies we watched. And the I love you’s, all the same.”
10. “Know that I am always here even when we kiss and you imagine I was her while I imagine you are mine.”TC mark

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