Being single is always awesome until it’s not anymore. Here are 14 ways to tell if you have gotten tired of waiting to find love.
1. Hunting Passively And Actively
You are dialed in. No matter where you are or what you are doing, you scan the room for prospects, you check to see if there is a ring or a tan line from a ring. You make friends with attractive strangers and the first thing you do is check to see if there is anything there romantically first and foremost before continuing in the conversation. The issue is not that you are aware of your surroundings and all that is going on around you, the issue is that you are using your surroundings to find love in a manipulative way that tries to force something that is not there naturally.
2. Hanging In Areas You Never Would
You start going to areas that you normally don’t go because you are curious. You go if it seems likely that you would meet someone that suits where you see your life going. You stay out later than your body wants to, drink more than your liver needs, and cross your fingers. Going to new places isn’t the issue, the issue is why you are there. You only being there in hopes of ending your single days is when the flag turns red and waves itself.
3. With People You Never Would
You go with different people to these new places and that’s fantastic! But when you start hanging out with people because you think they have cute friends that you could see yourself dating and not because you like them or enjoy spending time with them, then that’s not a great place to be for you or them.
4. Settling For Anyone And Any Treatment
When you hit the point when you feel like you have been waiting forever for someone to be with, sometimes you start letting things slide that should never slide. Whether it’s letting your person ignore you or make you feel small. You are just happy to be with someone, but I would encourage you to hold out and to wait for someone who is just as happy (if not more) to be with you for you without making you feel small.
5. Doing The Most
You come out of your room one day and you are a new person. New skin, new hair, new fashion, new personality, new phone, who dis? The issue is not makeup or a new wardrobe, if you want a new look then do you, but make sure you are doing it for you. Don’t transform yourself to match what you think someone else is looking for. That’s when you are doing too much. That’s when pulling back is the most sensible option.
6. Compromising Your Beliefs
Your beliefs are a huge deal. They are your guiding compass in a busy world. It’s the one thing that keeps you on your track. When you start compromising it hopes of finding love, know that you will find something but it won’t be love…and you won’t want it for long.
7. Second Guessing Your Dreams
Whether your dream is going to law school and starting your own firm, or stand up comedy, your dream is a huge part of you. Sometimes, chasing those dreams can be very scary but when you get tired of being single, you can find yourself thinking that your dream is the main thing that is stopping your dating life, and are may consider calling it quits on everything you’ve worked for in the name of love. Please know that what you are contemplating giving up your dream for is not love.
8. Growing Jealous
Of strangers, of kids, of tv-characters, of movies, of anything that looks like it is in love. That’s a rough spot. It’s rough because you stop celebrating all love that is around you. You start feeling like the love is mocking you, and I want you to know that it is not. But your jealousy is hurting you. So stop feeling that way.
9. Becoming Hyper-Critical Of People Who Are Dating
You hate how they laugh together, you roll your eyes, you hate on their PDA (okay– disclaimer: there is a point where EVERYONE hates on PDA but I am talking about any kind). Maybe just identify the fact that you might be thinking like a hater. Then make a choice. You don’t have to stay a hater (it’s harder to not be, but it can be done).
10. Being Grumpy
You frown more. Potentially too much. People hide their crushes from you and their romantic interest because they know that you are not ever going to be happy about it because you’re not happy being single.
11. Minimizing Your Experiences
You are not just home all day doing nothing and waiting for love all the time. Some days you travel, some days you go to the park, you may do things with friends and family from time to time. The thing is, since there is not a person next to you who you can parade or spend the day distracting yourselves with, you treat these moments of your life like they mean less because they are your single years. News flash: your life is not less significant because there is not a significant other.
12. Missing Out On The Opportunity Of Today
You miss a lot of today when you spend it all dreaming of someday. You miss your memories, your growth, your today. No relationship status is worth that. Be present and engage in the life you are living. We don’t have guarantees about tomorrow.
13. Putting A Lot Of Pressure On Any Potential Person (And Yourself)
When you do meet someone who looks like they could be the person for you, you may put more pressure on it than you need to if you are tired of waiting for romance. Rushed love is not love. Take your time with it, and take the pressure off of the potential person and off of you. When you put that much pressure on yourself, you can very easily start to make yourself insecure when you should be celebrant of your life. Singleness is not any person or anything’s fault and it also not the end of the world. Singleness is actually pretty awesome, just lean into it, you’ll see.
14. Losing Hope
If you have grown tired and frustrated about being single, it is easy to envision your life’s troubles being dealt with if there was someone to love you. You can idealistically place all of your eggs in the basket of “the right relationship”, and not be prepared for when it fails you too. The thing is people fail people all the time because we are imperfect. Don’t put your eggs all in one basket. Live your life to the fullest now, so what if you’re still single. You are still here! And that’s worth celebrating. Don’t give up on love if that’s what you want. Also, don’t give up on you to get the thing you want the most.