I don’t want a love that is red roses and heartfelt ballads and silken compliments. I don’t need a historical love; one that is praised and reveled in by others. Don’t act as though I am your saviour, your muse. I am flesh and bones and blood, a running mind constantly craving intellectual chases.
I don’t want kisses in the rain or blossoming promises of forever. My mind is an ocean, with waves thrashing against upon the shores of great expectations from my own waters. Love me through your steady actions, not through hollow words.
I want a love that is you umbrella hanging on the doorknob for me when it’s raining outside. I want a love that proclaims the truth – that I am a tangled ball of anxiety, teetering emotions, and flustered tears. I want the same love that sees me as a steadily burning wick of passion, empathy, and hope.
I don’t need a love that tells me I’m beautiful. I need a love that reminds me I’m an intelligent and dedicated critical thinker. I want a love that criticizes my bad habits out of care and compassion – one that calls me a partner, not empty promises of a lover.
I will love you like you are my home. I will love you if you forgo your strength to continue on, and I will tell you how powerful you are if you are crying on the solid ground. I will call you at twilight and tell you how the blending of pinks, yellows, and reds reminds me of you – a combination of your vivid imagination, compassion, and your ability to grow not in to me, but simultaneously with me. Two individuals sprouting together in unison, providing support and leaning on each other’s limbs when lost. But never as a necessity.
It’s above having a capacity to love more than I can comprehend, above thinking that maybe, just maybe, I’m addicted to the pain of the falsifications of hope and heartbreak. I realize it’s above just falling into the wrong arms in an attempt to look for an encompassing love that is more than just professing a regurgitation of three words that timelessly makes one feel like the galaxy is just you and them.
It is a love that is often overlooked: a love of grounded reality with a glimmer of optimism. This is the love I crave.