Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time on my Tumblr dashboard, reading and reblogging posts. Majority of them include posts of links like “21 Signs You Have a Chance With Him” and “10 Signs It’s Love.” I read those for fun, mentally counting the number of items that apply to me but not really believing them. And then, as I was walking home today, I thought of making my own list. This time, instead of writing vague general descriptions, I’ll try to write realistic and specific ones.
Note: I don’t guarantee that these same signs would apply to anyone else.
1. I’d be nice to you, a little too nice, but you probably won’t notice because I’m making sure that I’m not too too nice to you. In my head, I’m calculating the amount of niceness I’d offer you because a) I don’t want to be obvious, b) I don’t want to be unfair to other people and c) refer to item a. But don’t expect me to do your homework or anything (and if I like you, you’re probably not that kind of guy anyway). I’ll be the kind of nice person that cheers you on when you have something big to surmount or would offer you a solution when you don’t see any. I’d be the person who would smile at you and tell you how much I believe in you (but not in a cheesy way). And yes, I’m like that to most of my friends and it’ll be hard for you to distinguish any differences but you’ll still know. You’ll know because to them, I’m letting all my niceness go loose but I’m limiting it for you.
2. Looking at your eyes is a conscious effort. Whether I like your eyes or not, it’s hard for me to look. I guess, when it comes to liking someone, my initial reflex is to stay away and watch from the sidelines. That’s why having you so near and having to look at you straight on is difficult. But I know, I know. So as to not be obvious to you, I have to pretend that I could look at your eyes effortlessly just like I automatically look at the eyes of my other friends. But you’d know still. You just have to be really good at analyzing non-verbal communication to get this one. You should just notice how my body slightly relaxes when I look away.
3. I act different around you (but you won’t know that because you don’t know how I act when you’re not around.) First, my voice changes. This is an obvious biological giveaway. Second, I’m always happy when you’re there. Even when I’m stressed, you would not see me totally spacing out because I want to cherish the moments I have with you. Third, I am extra extra extra clingy to my friends. I’m a touchy person and most of those who know me or just see me can notice that. But when you’re there, I would hold a friend’s hand or hug them or just stick to them because heaven knows, I could not totally pretend that I’m not overwhelmed by your presence. Lastly, when we’re walking in the same group, I’m careful to not always walk beside you but not too far from you. Again, I am happy to soak in your sunshine but I don’t want to be too obvious. Plus, I believe that walking near you is blessing enough and that I don’t need to walk with you side-by-side to complete my day. Oh please.
4. My friends tease me about you and despite my subtle-ness, this clue is a dead giveaway. Let’s just say my friends can get too excited sometimes and not all of them are great actors. I promise you, even if I deny the obvious and claim that my friends are lying, don’t believe me. I probably just really like you.
5. I’d remember random details about you because I pay attention to you and I’m genuinely interested in your life but I’d never tell you about it nor would I ever bring those details up unless you’ve already mentioned them. I probably know when your birthday is but I pretend that it’s no big deal (which is super hard for a birthday surprise planner like me). I also probably know the types of movies you’d like and the other trivial things about you. But never mistake me for a stalker. I’m just really good at remembering stuff about you. And when the time comes that I have to pull these details out, I’d state them as nonchalantly as possible.
6. When I’m talking to you, I’d conveniently drop tidbits about me that I’m hoping you’d remember. This is embarrassing, I know, but I only do this to test if you are a bit interested in me too. Because I like you, I’d randomly insert a Facebook status I posted, a fun fact about me, the fictional character I love the most, my favorite food or a book I really want in our conversation just to see if you’d, I don’t know, note it or be interested or whatever.
7. I may act cool when you text me or send me a private chat message but I actually over-think my every move. I don’t just reply. I think about how long should I wait before replying. Sometimes, I do it immediately but sometimes, I purposely make you wait. It depends on how I could justify my action. I also think about what to say. I don’t want to seem too into you but I don’t want to sound like I don’t really care. And I also think about over-thinking because I don’t want to seem like I’m over-thinking about replying to you (even if I probably am).
8. I would never ever ever tease the two of us as a thing. Never. Pfft. I can tease you about a lot of things just not about this one because then, I couldn’t stop my KV from coming out.
9. I write about you. This one, you won’t ever find out about except if a) you discover the location of the thing that must not be discovered, b) my friends tell you, and c) I tell you. Writing is my thing. When I am filled with intense emotions, I write so naturally, if I really really like you, you’d be the protagonist of most of my stories and the “he” in most of my poems. If I really like you, as in so so so much, you probably have a folio dedicated to all the things I’ve written about you. And hey, you might even be the you that I’m thinking of as I write this post.
10. I won’t tell you. Like I said, I tend to watch from the sidelines and that means, I won’t confess my feelings. I could probably try to show them but if I really really really like you, I won’t say it straight up. For a lot of reasons.
That’s it, really. I think it’s too easy to tell.
But then again, if it really was, then you wouldn’t have to read this to know that I like you, right?