7 Very Particular Qualities It Is Okay To Want In Your Significant Other

It’s a preference, not a requirement—Sorry, not sorry

These days, the term “single” has become ambiguous, as have many things. Depending on the day, we each find words like “exclusive” or “dating” to mean different things, and it is getting exhausting. Between being asked what my deal-breakers are, or what I “look for” in a guy, it has all become a bit much. After doing a significant amount of dating (and an acceptable amount of f***ing), I have realized some things about myself. Things that I maybe felt were too picky in the past, or even things those closest to me have said are egregiously high in expectation.

But you know what? These things are what I have come to learn about myself. And self-awareness is something one cannot afford to lose, even when it comes to strong opinions from those you love and respect most. So here are the particular peculiarities about dating and men that I am publicly proclaiming are TOTALLY COOL, and others out there can know that they are not alone.

1. Being ATLEAST six feet tall.

This is one I have ping-ponged back and forth between, and now I know it is a just a fact. I am not only guaranteed to be attracted to you (if we are interacting, I do not mean just being tall means I will like you), but I am more likely to STAY attracted to you. I have to blame it on an excess of testosterone on their part.

2. Doors being opened for me.

In a world where men are coming at us hot with the “chivalry is not dead” bullshit, most have a funny way of proving their point—by not proving it at all. It is almost laughable, so I have found myself relishing the small but kind acts of chivalry. Yes I like to make my own money, and pay for your tab at times. But come on; a lady needs to be taken care of.

3. I would rather be celibate than risk another mediocre sexual encounter.

I am not THAT driven by my sex drive. Which doesn’t mean I am not a sexual person. But being a good kisser unfortunately doesn’t mean shit regarding a preview.

4. Please please PLEASE do not talk about how much money you make and/or spend.

Whether you realize you are doing it or not, you are (allegedly) a big boy. Listen to yourself when you speak. And learn from it.

5. Number 4, but in regards to talking about yourself and how cool you are.

6. Show me how you feel about me, don’t just tell me.

Empty promises have become the death of my interest in dating.

7. If you never tell me how good I look, I won’t feel attractive to you.

Meaning I won’t feel like having sex with you.