I have a love hate relationship with the amount of time I actually spend on the internet. Because almost everyday I get a reality check of someone years younger than me at an incredibly successful point in their life. And it stings even more knowing they can only go up from there.
Part of me wants to feel like they’ve received this god given boost in their career, and I just wasn’t as lucky. But what it painstakingly boils down to is how hard they worked in comparison to me. That right there is what sets them apart from what I’ve done so far. Now we can sugar coat it all we want, blame it on luck, fate, whatever else but work ethic is all it is. This isn’t to say, I’ve put no effort into trying to push myself forward. It’s knowing I could push myself that much further.
Nothing makes me feel more unaccomplished, than knowing I could be doing more. On every blog you can think of without even looking we’re made aware of the next producer, film maker, songwriter, and so on that’s out there creating something the world is taking notice of. With interviews of them telling their story of how fearless they were about pursuing what they love.
I know what I love to do. I’m not lost, I know what I want to accomplish and for some reason, I haven’t been able to let go of my inhibitions and go full force at it. Maybe it’s because I still have a year left of school. Maybe it’s because I haven’t gained the confidence in my craft yet. I’m about to graduate university, and I know the anxiety that comes with removing failure as an option lies in not only me.
It’s important to force ourselves to make decisions that stay in line with what we’re passionate about, even if they’re not always the safest, or start out to be not as rewarding. I believe that fixation on what you truly want to wake up and be doing every single day, will make any of the risks along the way worth it.
I’m never jealous of these young artists, or bloggers who are making bank having the time of their lives. Well let’s be honest, I would love to trade shoes with them, but I also feel inspired. I know my path is a little different from theirs and that’s okay. It’s okay that some people have reached closer to their goals quicker, or in a more aggressive way. It doesn’t mean it won’t happen for me, it just means something needs to change. So with every article I read, another fire is lit under my ass to work harder.