How To Be A Good Girlfriend To A Guy Who Doesn’t Know What He Needs Yet

a person looking at a couple
Colin Maynard

The perfect woman exists; she is out there. But she’s just as flawed as anyone else.

“Perfect” means something a little different to each of us. We’re all looking for particular things or qualities in a partner that turn us on, that work for us, that we feel are necessary; just as we’re trying to avoid people with qualities that turn us off, that don’t work for us.

Your “perfect” isn’t going to be my “perfect.” Which is amazing, if you think about it.

If we all had exactly the same type (if you want to call it that), then there would be a lot of very unhappy people in this world. The only thing we’re all looking for in a partner is care — we’re looking for someone who treats us well. Who loves us and wants what’s best for us.

The one thing all men are looking for — even if they don’t know it just yet — is a good girlfriend.

There are certain things a woman must do in order to be a good girlfriend, and they most certainly don’t all entail pleasing your man. Let’s be honest: Men aren’t especially difficult to please. Feed them and f*ck them, and they’re pretty much good to go.

However, there are things a man needs that he doesn’t always know he needs. A good girlfriend is the perfect combination of friend, confidant, lover and guardian angel.

If you want your man to be incapable of letting go of you, then be his partner. In life and in crime.

1. Be honest, but be kind and considerate.

There are plenty of ways of saying the same exact thing — many different ways of getting your message across. All men are different, yet we all need to hear the truth. And like all human beings, we don’t always like the truth. Sometimes the truth isn’t flattering or is a bit embarrassing. Sometimes our egos take a hit, which is never pleasant.

Loving someone and being there for him or her isn’t just about making the best of the great moments, but also making the best of the things that aren’t so great — softening the blow as much as we can because we don’t want the one we care about to feel like he or she is being assaulted or insulted.

Being open with each other and honest is key to a healthy and loving relationship. However, how we say what we say, and what lies behind those words, is often what gets us into trouble.

If you care about your man, then don’t approach the relationship with negativity. Like I said, perfection is flawed. We all have work to do.

2. Work on keeping your sex life exciting and passionate.

Sex is always amazing when the relationship is still novel. As time goes on, however, we find that we need to fuel the excitement ourselves in order to keep the flame burning.

Of course, it does take two to tango, so your man will need to put in an effort as well. Being the one to take an active role in spicing up or maintaining your sex life will make it much more likely for him to put in an extra effort as well.

While there is more to a relationship than the carnal release we call “sex,” it is an important part of the equation. We love both psychologically and physically. When one starts to fade, the other is sure to follow.

Sex is supposed to be fun; so have fun. Explore. Enjoy it as much as you can now because, let’s be honest, neither of you are getting any younger.

3. Be his rock, but also his compass.

Life is hard for everyone. We’re creatures cursed with being incredibly smart, yet not smart enough.

No one really has it easy. Sure, some certainly do have it more difficult than others, but from what I’ve seen, it seems like even those who have it the easiest manage to make life difficult for themselves. Everyone can use a partner to help him or her stay afloat.

No matter how strong or determined your man is, he will hit a rocky patch sooner or later. The stronger he is, the more ambitious he’s likely to be. And the more ambitious he’s likely to be, the bigger an ego he’s likely to have. A big ego falling off a big mountain will do damage.

He needs you to be there for him when it happens. He needs you there on the day-to-day to listen, to give your two cents, to help him make sense of all that’s going on in his life.

If you do, he’ll almost certainly do the same. When the world seems like it’s falling apart, you need to be each other’s solid ground.

4. Just be you.

Your man loves you, for you. He loves you not for the person you like people to believe you to be, but for the person he knows you really are.

Be that person. Don’t shy away or hide. To the rest of the world you can be whomever you wish to be, but when you’re with him, he just wants you to be you.

Women, and men alike for that matter, sometimes worry for no real good reason. When we really care for someone a whole lot, our imaginations start to run wild. We start to worry. We start to make changes to our appearance or character. He doesn’t want any of that. He just wants you.

As we the years go by, we change as individuals. Quite often, unfortunately, we lose our way. We get lost in all the “nasty” or all the “amazing” that life throws our way. We lose sight of the person we once were — a person we loved — and become someone we aren’t especially fond of.

As a couple, you want to grow together. But, you also want to make sure the parts of you that you each fell for remain. It’ll be the glue that holds your relationship together for decades. TC mark

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