Have you ever felt like you were never good enough for anyone? That no matter who came into your life, the relationship would ultimately fail because of the predetermined failure mindset you possessed? If you have, you are not alone.
I have been thinking about this topic a great deal lately. I’m sure you, like myself, have experienced friends or relatives consistently pushing their partner away when their relationship seemed to be going extremely well from your vantage point. It’s one of those age old questions.
Why do we push our partners away for no good apparent reason?
I’ve come to believe that we do this for one reason above all else: We simply feel that pushing our partner away will inevitably work out in the long run because the longer the relationship lasts, the more pain there will be, so by ending the relationship in its infancy stage, you are helping yourself both emotionally and mentally. At the root of this mindset is one evident reasoning that seems to play an enormous factor.
Our fear of failure.
Our fear of failure creates a notion for us to be afraid of taking chances and deal with the unavoidable highs and lows that come with committing to one person. I am here to tell you that while those inescapable hardships of a relationship are real, they are undoubtedly worth it.
If there is one thing I have learned about life so far, it’s that your fear of failure should never prevent you from taking risks, especially when it comes to a potential partner that could last forever. Although there is a possibility of devoting weeks, months, and even years worth of your time to one specific person, only to not have it work out in the end, I strongly believe that it’s worth it.
I too have been heartbroken more than once. And after each time it happened, I contemplated and thought to myself, “That was such a waste of my time. I can’t believe I’ll never get that time back.” But that is the completely incorrect way to look at it. Yes, the relationships evidently did not last, but the lessons I learned in that time of failure helped me to become the person I am today. In each case, I often sat back and realized that there were many things I could improve on in my own life to help my next relationship succeed in the long term. I chose to embrace this mindset instead of focusing so much on the past, such as what went wrong. However, I was determined to learn from my failures and cultivate a better version of myself so I would never make the same mistakes again.
There is no escaping failure. Failure is our best teacher. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to grow as individuals. Failure needs to exist and thrive because it will always lead to the pathway of success.
Heading into a new relationship is scary. You don’t know where you and your partner will end up or even how long you two will be together. It truly is an intimidating thought not knowing the future, but if you devote yourself to always promising yourself to become a better person than you were the day before, it is a risk worth taking.
Life is all about the unknown, so never be afraid of failure. For all you know, the next individual you may meet and take a chance on could be your happily ever after.