Things You Think When Having Doubts About Your Relationship
By Paul Barker
“This is my life. This is what’s happening in my life. This is who I’ve chosen to be with. The problem is that my choice is theoretically time-unlimited. This isn’t like ‘We’re monogamous for one more year.’ It’s more like ‘We’re monogamous… forever.’”
“Wow. How is this person so good? Oh my god. What the hell?”
“Why am I not getting laid right now? Aren’t relationships supposed to solve that problem?”
“Stop trying to prove her wrong, you’re being dumb.”
“You know what you have to do, don’t you? You just won’t do it. Your pride. All you have to do is drop this dumbass argument — because it doesn’t matter who is wrong – and remember one thing. That’s all you have to do.”
“Look at all those awkward people very obviously putting on selves just to look cool and get laid. Am I going to have to return to that world? I’ll kill myself if I have to put myself through that again.”
“Look at all those people having so much fun being single! Jesus, I NEED OUT.”
“I feel bad for her — the position she’s in. Like, I feel bad that she has to put up with me. I feel bad for her life situation. I wouldn’t want to be her. Fuck.”
“I need sex so bad. Please let it happen. It needs to happen.”
“It’s been two days apart and GET OUT OF MY WAY I NEED MY FIX, I’M FREAKING OUT, I NEED TO BE AROUND HIM IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE.”
“I have to get away. I don’t know why. I just have to get away. I have to be out of here. I can’t see him right now. Where am I going to stay tonight?”
“This party sucks. Everyone here sucks. Why aren’t more people like him? This is scary.”
“He’s not trying to be passive… this is just his way of communicating. Don’t blame him for it. STOP BLAMING HIM FOR THE WAY HE IS.”
“How do I get my logical thoughts to translate into emotional beliefs?”
“Is this dependency or is this love?”
“She locked herself out again? Oh my god. This is so like her. She’s losing it. This is UNFORGIVABLE. I will not come home to let her in. She deserves to be PUNISHED! [Etc.]”
“Why is this happening? Why don’t I understand our problems anymore?”