10 Ridiculous Rejection Text Messages Girls Actually Sent That Leave A Sting

Flickr / Patrick Hoesly
Flickr / Patrick Hoesly

Sometimes I like to close my stand up sets by reading off text messages real women have sent me. I’ve been called needy, immature, and a piece of shit. I think I’m a sweet guy with a good sense of humor, but many, many women feel differently.

Below are examples of me putting myself out “there.” These are a compilation of REAL and unsolicited text messages. These women actually hate me.


That second text was really necessary? I think I could have taken the hint. We’re on for next week.

So you’re saying there’s a chance…?

Sometimes they’re really mean and I do things like this.

Sometimes they’re sweet though. Her heart was in the right place.

Kyla or Kyle? This is why I need to update to Tinder Plus.

A soft pass.

This one is my fault. And John Jameson.

This is a two-parter. Here’s what the boyfriend said:

What’s he going to send me? An edible arrangement? I gave him my number just in case.

Why did you even give me your number?

This is what black out drinking looks like. Did I send a picture of a Red Bull can…?

A creep with a valid driver’s license and legal right to work in the United States!

She really loved it when I sent her a subscription to the Insanity workout. TC mark

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