You gave up. You gave up on me. On us. You gave up when you could have fought.
It’s not even going to be a hard battle for you. All you have to do is succumb. Succumb to love. To chances. To risks. To me.
You cannot love without taking any risks and making sacrifices. There is no such thing as love with only good sides. Love is all about having all bad sides combined and still loving them nonetheless. Love is facing all the bad sides head on and turning it into something good for the two of you.
You wanted the easy kind of love. The one that doesn’t involve efforts and pain and sacrifices. But you should already know that nothing good comes easy. Love only becomes great when it’s been through smiles and tears but still shines brighter than it’s ever been.
The thing is, I am willing to be the shield for you. I was already the shield for you. I tried my best to protect you from the all the bad when it came to love. I showered you with affection and I gave you the kind of love that you thought could only happen in books and films. I gave you all of me and even more. But it still wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t enough.
For some reasons I still find unacceptable, you chose the easy way out. You wanted a life without hardships. A life full of faceless women and one-night stands. A life full of chasing and thrill but also full of short-term happiness. You wanted to keep on seeing other people. You didn’t want to quit fucking around. You wanted a life that looked simple and uncomplicated. A sad life, if you ask me.
And so you turned your back on us. You took away your chance at something real. I would have given you all the love and support you need and I would have stood by your side until we’re wrinkled and kissed by age. I would’ve given you a life worth living. But you robbed me off that chance too. You didn’t give me a chance to prove to you that I can make you happy. You didn’t even try to give me a chance.
It was a no-brainer decision for you even since the beginning. You never really wanted to be with me in the long run. You just dragged me along for the hell of it. You tried to get short-term happiness from me. But see that’s the thing.
I don’t want to be the person who provides short-term happiness for you. I don’t want to be another one of those faceless one-night stands whose names you can’t even remember. I wanted love and life with you.
I wanted to get wasted on Saturday nights with you and have clumsy drunk sex. But I also want to wake up Sunday morning, hungover and dreading the consequences of one too many shots – beside you, and when we’re sober enough, make love in the morning light.
I could have been the one who gave you short-term happiness and at the same time long-term security and assurance. We could have had all the thrill and adrenaline you want to feel while at the same time, have the familiar comfort of each other. I could have been that and more.
But you turned your back already. You gave up. You walked away.
And I am so much better than this. I am worth so much more than you. I don’t need to compete for you. I am someone else’s life long dream. Someone else’s both short-term happiness and long-term love goal. Somewhere someday, someone will find me – or I will find him – and he will be content with me. He won’t feel the need to seek validity in the form of one-night stands. He won’t need that. Because he will know that he needs me more than he needs those superficial things. That person will not do anything to sabotage what we have because he knows that he can never find someone like me again.
Someday, I will meet that person and I will be happy and I will finally get the love I truly deserve. And you will still be there, seeking useless validation, getting laid and having meaningless sex with people who don’t care about you. And you will finally know what you lost.