I don’t want to be your friend.
I don’t want to keep on pretending to myself that I am not hurting everytime I see you and we don’t greet each other. I don’t want to keep on pretending that I don’t get frustrated every time I don’t get a response from you. I don’t want to pretend that I didn’t get my hopes up when you made a promise to me a few months back. I don’t want to pretend that I don’t care at all anymore.
I don’t want to keep pretending that I’m strong all the time, that I always have it together. I don’t want to pretend that I don’t need your comfort and affection when I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I don’t want to pretend anymore.
I don’t want to pretend that I AM NOT HURTING.
Hurting because I know that we can’t just be normal friends anymore.
Because when you’re my friend, I know every time you drop a message I’ll just get my hopes up. If I’m your friend then I will get my emotions stirred up every time we greet each other. If I’m your friend then I’ll continue to hope for things I know we couldn’t be.
With everything that has happened, with everything that has been said and done, finally I can honestly say, you have caused me pain and doubt. I made countless reasons in my mind not to get frustrated with you and not to turn my back on you. I guess all of us really has a limit, I’ve finally reached mine.
The space that we’re creating between us is getting wider and wider as the day comes by and I guess it’s for the best. I guess we need this space to breathe from each other. I guess this space is necessary for us to reevaluate if we really want this to work or even have a real beginning.
I did once told you that I won’t burn the bridge between us, and darling I never will but you’re now holding the match that would lit up and burn that bridge, and who am I to stop you from doing so. I won’t stop you.
When people walk away from your life, let them walk away.
So then, I don’t want to be your friend anymore.