How was today any different than yesterday?
I ate breakfast again.
I ate lunch again.
And I’m about to make dinner again.
It’s kind of upsetting that I spent two hours today writing emails of no consequence.
There were subtle differences in my day, differences of temperature or degree (but not of soul.)
Instead of having cereal, I had eggs for breakfast.
Instead of thinking about paying rent, I paid rent.
Instead of having a lackluster workout, I had an intense workout.
But what is depressing about all this is that it amounts to nothing new. Things were different but the heart of things wasn’t different at all.
I’ve had intense workouts before. I’ve had eggs before. I’ve paid rent before. It’s all the same.
So really today was just full of old mediocre sensations and probably not worth living. I, the inconsequential vector of flesh.
The rhythm of sameness dulling us, drilling us back to dust. Thus we are, thus are our customs. over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over