This Is How Loving The Wrong Person Gets You Ready For The Right One

Unsplash, Mohsin Shaikh
Unsplash, Mohsin Shaikh

You learn to recognize bad habits.

This isn’t limited to the person you’ve been dating. Loving the wrong person can facilitate incredible growth in you, too. More than acknowledging warning signs, take time to reflect on how you reacted to them: Were some more obvious than others? What lead you to pursue a relationship and ignore the bad omens?

The wrong person isn’t always a bad person, but something about our dynamic with them eventually sours and becomes, well, bad. How did you contribute to this? What bad relationship habits do you have to work on?

They were wrong for you, but that doesn’t always absolve you of culpability. Relationships are about responsibility just as much as they are about romance, and moving forward means acknowledging your choice of partner might not have been the only wrong thing about your relationship.

You learn to set boundaries.

Unconditional love can be dangerous territory, because it encourages being unaccountable to your partner. Loving your partner does not divorce them from the responsibility of communicating with you, treating you with respect, and working with you to resolve issues.

Ideally, the harmony of these attributes makes your relationship a healthy embellishment to an otherwise fulfilling life. Disturbing this balance can easily sour your relations and surpass emotional boundaries you should be keeping intact. Besides this, it’s important to set financial, and even physical boundaries expressly, so that your partner knows what you need from them and more importantly, what you need for yourself.

You realize what you really want out of a relationship.

Maybe it’s as simple as wanting someone who shares the same values as you and is interested in a long-term relationship. Maybe it’s more complex and revolves around you desire to find a partner who understands your quirks and introversion, who can embrace time with you as much as the time you need to yourself.

Maybe it’s that you don’t even want a relationship. Maybe the love and companionship you’re interested in right now is friendship and romantic love isn’t a priority. Whatever it is you are seeking, understanding yourself and your weaknesses, and working on your growth, helps welcome the right love into your life. TC mark 

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Pardis Alia is a poetess and artist. Follow Pardis Alia on Facebook or read more articles from Pardis Alia on Thought Catalog.