17 Times Michel de Montaigne Could’ve Been The Most Influential Person On The Internet

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1. He invented the humblebrag.

  • One may be humble out of pride.

2, 3. He knew the power of cats.

  • When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.
  • In nine lifetimes, you’ll never know as much about your cat as your cat knows about you.

4-8. He had the drop on today’s political discourse.

  • Stubborn and ardent clinging to one’s opinion is the best proof of stupidity
  • Ignorance is the softest pillow on which a man can rest his head.
  • He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak.
  • Nothing is so firmly believed as what we least know.
  • The public weal requires that men should betray, and lie, and massacre.

9. Especially the current presidential campaign.

  • No-one is exempt from speaking nonsense – the only misfortune is to do it solemnly  

10. He understood slut-shaming.

  • It is much more easy to accuse the one sex than to excuse the other.

11-13. He was fascinated by and published his own thoughts.

  • I have never seen a greater monster or miracle in the world than myself.
  • My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.
  • The thing I fear most is fear  

14. He wouldn’t have been surprised by the politics of the 1%.

  • In my opinion, every rich man is a miser.

15. And he wouldn’t have respected them.

  • Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky.

16. He would love Wikipedia.

Even on the most exalted throne in the world we are only sitting on our own bottom.

17. And he would appreciate what I just did here.

I quote others only in order the better to express myself.