My mind goes to weird places when I’m unwell, tired or stressed. But let’s talk about when I’m under the weather. These days, I’ve got a pretty good handle on myself. Over the years, I’ve grown more comfortable with who I am.
I’ve grown to accept myself more and more with time. And overall, I’m happy on most days. And that’s saying a lot. Happiness does take effort for some of us. It’s about reminding ourselves to take some time to choose to be happy.
Early this week, I was down with a throat infection and suddenly my perspective started to change. I started feeling guilty for not being well on a work day. I went to see the doctor, was prescribed antibiotics and instructed to rest. I felt bad that I needed a couple of days off and thought about how I could’ve looked after myself better. How I could have prevented this infection from happening. Maybe I could’ve stayed indoors more instead of going out for lunch on such a hot day, causing myself to get dehydrated. I should’ve drunk more water.
So many of these thoughts went through my mind. I thought about the time I was wasting being in bed and resting. I thought about all the work I could have gotten done.
It took a toll on my self-confidence and I felt like I was falling behind. On what, you might ask? Oh, that old thing called self-expectations and my own ideas of what it means to be successful.
I felt unworthy.
But the thing about work is, it doesn’t end. Falling sick for a couple of days won’t be the end of the world.
Funny how my mind would go there, though.
Also funny is how I feel completely happy and fine after two days of rest.
The mind (and body) is so powerful. It can make you believe things about yourself and about others that aren’t true. And it starts with loving yourself every step of the way — through sickness and in health, literally.