Do not resent me. I am not writing this from a place of hate but rather, one of cathartic introspection. We may not know each other, but we’re connected by whom our hearts chose to love. The guy we both fell for. The nice guy you can take home. The kind of guy fairytales are made of.
The only catch being, he was mine and I screwed us up.
Forgive me for loathing you at first. I am, after all, only human. I was still hopelessly in love with him, and dealing with the guilt and regret of losing my first love. Seeing him move on and finding love again, while I was still nursing a broken heart was excruciating to say the least. However, I will not indulge you with painful details of my breakup. Instead, I want to remind you how lucky you are, because I don’t want you to commit the same mistakes I did.
Love him right because he’s a keeper. Do not question his feelings for you, ever. He would not be with you if he didn’t want to. Love his family and he would bring the world down to your feet. Shower him with affection when he is down and low. There will be cold, difficult days. Love is, after all, an arduous battle. When things get rough, please don’t give up on him like I did.
I have constantly juggled between “I hope she is an awful person and they don’t last” to “I hope she is wonderful and makes him happy.” I apologize for using every birthday candle, stray eyelash and shooting star to wish that he comes backs to me. Forgive me for wishing you heart break. I was only trying to salvage mine.
As more time has passed and nights have withered away, I have learned not to resent you. It was me who decided to let him go, and it is not your fault that he fell for you. It takes a lot of effort to say this, but I’m sure you must be a beautiful and special person if he chose you.
I hope you’ve never looked at me with insecurity or jealousy, because its unfortunately unnecessary. You never need to worry about him coming back to me. He will never dwell on his past. Rekindling died embers is not his thing.
It’s taken me a long time, but I’ve finally found some happiness. I have realised that just because he loves you now, doesn’t mean he didn’t love me then. I hope you can say the same. That his ‘once upon a time’ feelings for me don’t make his feelings for you any less real.
He was my once in a life time kind of guy. He forever will be.
I fervently hope you get to keep him.
The Girl Who Let Him Get Away