The last 100 years or so has been revolutionary for women – from achieving the right to vote, to spearheading the latest discoveries in medicine. Like it or not, all of our roles, men and women, traditional and nontraditional, are important to society and are truly valued, even if no one verbally admits it.
I believe that women are extremely powerful and have a large advantage over men. Ladies, we have the power to carry a child for nine months. We have the power to get what we want by being persistent and driven. We have the power to seduce. We have the power to lead and rule, if we choose. We have the power to invent and explore the unknown. We also have the power to change the world.
“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.” – Maya Angelou
It wasn’t until last year when I started to become more aware of myself and realized that I was lacking confidence. It all stemmed back to growing up and I believe that a lot of women can relate. I floated between different groups of friends in school; I threw large parties because I thought it would make me popular, which ended up backfiring. I learned that I needed to get out of that bubble of a city in order to spread my wings, which brings me here today.
Amongst my latest readings and thoughts, I discovered a saying, which I have chose to live by. The saying goes, “In the end, it’s only you, yourself that matters, so be the best possible version of yourself.” I believe this saying is the truth. It’s your life, and it’s up to you to do whatever you want that makes you happy. Here are a few reminders:
1. Your body is your temple
Like most girls, I would always look at myself in the mirror and wish that I were skinny. Truth be told, high metabolisms don’t run in my family. We’re big boned and have large frames to support our weight. And you know what? I’m fine with that. I do whatever I can to ensure that I don’t end up overweight. I eat healthy, exercise, and drink lots of water (when I remember to!) That’s ME. I’m different than you and the next person. Our bodies are made differently; genes are definitely a huge factor, but that’s not the end result.
By the time you’re around 30, your body starts to deteriorate and if you don’t take care of yourself, you’re body will respond negatively. Remember that your body is your temple, so nourish it and treat it with love and care.
2. Love Yourself
Self-love is an appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our overall growth. Be more mindful and remember to protect and forgive yourself. Most importantly, practice good self-care with all of your basic needs.
Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Next, starting with the letter ‘a,’ name a quality that you have. I am Amazing. Then, ‘b’, I am Beautiful. Continue through the alphabet until you reach ‘z.’ You may have some difficulty along the way; this is a pleasurable exercise to get you thinking on the spot, use your abundant vocabulary and give you an extra jolt of love.
3. Be confident
Rapper Lil Wayne said, “I walk up in the world and cut the lights off and confidence is a stain they can’t wipe off.” Confidence is one of the most important aspects to our life, yet many struggle to find it. It’s a learning process that truly takes time to develop. I have my moments, but I remember that nothing good comes from fear and avoiding risks. Look back to your accomplishments and take evaluation of your strengths (and weaknesses). Where do you want to go from here? How will you get there? Use strong, positive mental images and envision your confident self in that role. Not to mention, guys find it extremely sexy when women are confident.
4. Stay humble
Amongst our daily rat race and the survival of the fittest, there needs to be a balance. Kindness makes you happier and goes a long way. David Hamilton, author of Why Kindness is Good for You, writes,
“When a person performs an act of kindness, the brain produces dopamine, which is associated with positive thinking. The brain has its own natural versions of morphine and heroine: endogenous opioids, such as endorphins. It is believed that when a person does an act of kindness they feel good on a chemical level thanks to the production of these opioids.”
Always try and remain calm in any given situation and help others the best that you can. They might be able to help you in return.
“The most beautiful woman I have known had one thing in common apart from beauty: humility. It’s a shame that those with less to boast about do it the most.” – Donna Lynn Hope
5. You have the freedom to choose your sexuality.
You’re a sexual being. It wasn’t until June 26, 2015 that the US Supreme Court ruled the right for same-sex couples to marry in all 50 states. Do you like girls? Great! Do you like guys? Awesome! Do you like both? Fantastic! All the power to you. However, never underestimate the female libido. When we engage in acts of sex, we become animals. It’s part of our natural instinct and it’s not something that we can or should shy away from. Men rely on the physical and women value the emotional. Love is a balance. “Women have their ‘sexual peak’ when they’re feeling the most free, energized and tuned into their sexuality,” said Dr. Jane Greer, New York-based marriage and sex therapist and author. “Women are more probably sexually expressive in their 20s because they’re either in an exclusive relationship and/or feeling free to be sexually active.” What are you waiting for, ladies?
6. Be in control of your own emotions
You are the only person that will cry if you get hurt. You are the only person that will be upset if someone walks all over you. So, why let others influence your emotions? It’s another story if you’re in a relationship- you have to communicate your emotions with your partner. Your partner can influence a decision, but it’s up to YOU to make a choice. You can choose to be sad, happy, miserable, or radiant.
7. Know when to let things go
There comes a point in time when you’re stuck trying to decide if you want to stay with something or someone, or to let it go. I recommend that if you’re having doubts or if it’s making you sick, crazy, or unhappy, just let it go. You’re using up viable energy and power that can go to other areas of your life.
“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” – Oprah Winfrey.