The Difference Between Being Lonely And Being Alone

For years, I have wondered what makes boys so special that girls can sit and whine about them for hours on end. Girls check their phones ferociously in hopes that he’s responded with an emoji or even a response that is more than three words. That shows that he cares, they think.

I don’t mean to say that I am guilt-free. My relationships [and lack thereof] have played a huge role in my becoming who I am today. I have spent hours eating Ben & Jerry’s, watching The Notebook, texting boys, making profiles on okcupid and Tinder, yet all of this was to no avail. The heartbreak, the anger, the jealousy – all of these things have led me to the realization that I am resilient. I can take a lot more shit from men than I probably should ever have to.

And here I am, alone. In fact, I am more alone than ever and I’m pretty proud of that. I sleep around. I dance with only the cutest boys at frat parties. I am a notorious flirt, and yet I am further from a relationship than I ever have been. However, I have taken the initiative to place the relationship I have with myself first on my priority list. There will be no other period of my life in which this kind of shameless self-centeredness is acceptable.

I am taking this time to develop myself into the person I want to become. I don’t have the time to pine over a boy who probably isn’t even interested. I don’t have the energy to fall in love right now, and that’s okay! Unless someone comes along that is amazing enough to change my mind, I plan to continue forging this path to independent success.

Boys distract me, boys let me down, and sometimes boys even make me question my value as a person. I don’t deserve that – and neither do you.