1. Gay men actually dance.
And they do it well! Going to a club with a horde of gay men will always be one of the best ways to spend a Friday night (at Necto, for all of you Ann Arborites). You’ll never catch a crowd of gay men standing around the dance floor watching all the fun or playing on their iPhones. They’re usually in the center of the room, stealing all of the attention from mediocre-looking heteros. And if they’re not on the dance floor, they’re likely doing something fabulous at the bar. Body shots, anyone?
2. There’s no pressure to be undeniably sensual.
They will never get boners while they grind up against you from behind, and they will never try to cop a feel of your boobs or other lady parts. Your skirt can be as long or short as you want it to be – tonight, you’re dressing for you, not for some douchey hetero guy who objectifies you. If you’re in the mood for tap dancing, go for it, but you can also shake your booty all you want. You do you!
3. You will look fucking amazing.
Most gay men wouldn’t have it any other way. They aren’t afraid to ask, “honey, don’t you have a more flattering skirt than that?” They will never let you leave the house in flats. Even though your feet will not be thanking them, you sure will. You’re the queen of fashion, thanks to your own personal stylists. Walk like the fierce diva you are, sister; don’t let the homos down.
4. They aren’t afraid to rebel against social constructs.
See #2 — dance however you want to, honey. These gems of men came out of the closet at a probably young-ish age, so clearly they have a knack for avoiding the status quo. Need someone to tighten your bra strap? Go ahead and ask. Need someone to bring you toilet paper from another stall? Yell into the hallway; they’ll probably prance into the women’s bathroom without a second thought, happy to help out a friend. It’s refreshing, really, how genuine these fellows are. They are irrevocably true to themselves and encourage you to do the same.
5. They will take care of you.
We’ve all been there. Vodka sometimes means a night next to the toilet. Break-ups sometimes mean a night next to a box of Kleenex. Similarly, a night out with gay men means a night with a support system. Someone to hold your hair, dry your tears, and most importantly, to tell you when your nose and mascara are running a race towards your chin. They will take away your phone. What would we do without them? Luckily, we never have to find out. These guys are lifelong friends.