Searching for a place that feels like home, but away from home
Searching for people who feel like family, but not your own family,
Searching for things that make you feel alive but leaving behind the things that do that very thing,
What is the problem?
Do you have an answer for that yet?
Do you have all the questions you want to know the answers to yet?
What’s keeping you from bolting out the door and never looking back?
Is it the weather? Is it the season? Is it your friends? Is it yoir ex-lover that is now an estranged neighbour?
Walk through this mountain range with me, the foxes have made tracks in the snow for us, they’ll lead us out of this darkness, though we might live in fear, but never forget that we live nevertheless, the circumstances of our existence might seem to be out of control, but it’s not the circumstances you need to have control over, it’s your choices, your own, your own body, how you react to those circumstances;
Having control doesn’t mean making sure everything that happens happens exactly like you imagined or planned it to be like, it’s living in chaos, total confusion, living in the eye of the storm, while your whole life is going around and around in swirly waves, breaking and being torn apart and taken away, never to be seen, it’s your own mind that you need to master.
Life is not a separate thing from you, your life is a part of you, like your limbs and your organs, it isn’t something you conquer, something you justify, something you defeat, or even something that defeats you. It’s you, your life is you, your life is yours.
You don’t control how your heart beats, or how your brain works, they just do, and you go along with it all.
Similarly, your life goes the way it goes, so let it go. Your life isn’t a river and you’re not a sinking stone. You are the river, and you’re the stone, and the mountain, and the ocean you meet at the end.
It’s all you, and you don’t need to worry at all. You’ll get there eventually.