You Were The Only One I Could Never Forgive Or Forget

How does one feel lost when one is finally being found by the right one? How does one reach the destination when one doesn’t know what it is?

How can one person stop loving while they’re still being loved by someone with all their heart?

You were the only one that thought of me all the while I wasn’t thinking of anyone,
You were the only one I have happy dreams about,

You were the only one I could never forgive or forget, just the constant painful battle of loving and hating and loving again and again,

How does one stop dreaming about happy times and waking up in tears?

I dreamt you came back into my life, and I eventually gave up being mad at you,

We started over from a new strange place, not as strangers, but as people who were just acquainted once upon a time,

Then you disappeared and I was convinced you’d never come back this time, but you were waiting for me in my room,

I told you I thought you had left for good, but you said you’ll never leave again,

And I was so happy, so happy that if you could read my mind right now, your heart would break with pity,

Because it was all a dream, as I woke up, I knew it was done, in the waking world we would never go back to that strange place where I can forgive and forget, and you might come back just like that,

What a perfect world that would be,

Maybe I’ll dream about you tonight too, and be happy for a while,

Life’s tougher to live out when you feel you’re the only one feeling sad about something nobody cares about anymore, they all just move on so easily, get in a car, get in a bus, get on a train, get on an airplane, and never look back, never again think about the things that once haunted both of you,

What about people like me, who can’t go anywhere to forget? Who walk by the same places and remember the happy times spent there over and over like a tragic movie on loop that you don’t want to see but it keeps playing in front of your eyes all the time, the ending is always the same, how does it feel to change the channel in your mind?

I swear to everything I hold dear that I’ve been trying, but there is no reason to do so, so giving up is easier sometimes.

Maybe tomorrow will be different, maybe next week will be different, maybe next year, and life goes on and on and on like this.