This Is The Difference Between Living And Existing

girl brushing fingers through hair
Brooke Cagle

Tell her it’s poison not wine, and she’ll drink it down every single time, tell her nobody loves her, and she’ll agree with you till the light dies in the sky,

tell her you want to leave, and she’ll hold the door open for you, tell her you need her, but just for one night, and she’ll knock on your door every time,

tell her you never cared, and she’ll say she doesn’t either, she never did and she never will, tell her everything she does is a waste of time, and she’ll say time is irrelevant, it cannot be wasted, but if you say so, then it must be true, don’t let me waste your precious time, go and poison someone else’s mind, mine is already full,

tell her she’s never ever going to change for better, and she’ll say, what’s the point of getting better when life has always gone downhill, downstream, out of control, out of touch,
tell her you want to save her from herself, and she’ll politely decline the kind offer,

so you watch her struggle to live everyday, you try to help, is it pity or love? How do you differentiate between the two when the person you love is so bent on being pitiful without accepting any help? Sit on the sidelines? Watch their life fall apart in front of your eyes? Do you pull them back from the edge for the millionth time though their happiness is jumping off it?

Tell her it’s poison and not wine, and she’ll drink it down every single time, tell.her she doesn’t need to cry, she doesn’t need to try, she doesn’t need to die to feel alive, and she’ll say, living or dying is not my aim, it’s to exist as long as I can, I’m battling with the universe for my place in it, everything tells me I’m so insignificant, there are always so many things bigger than me, I’m so small, I’m so small, you need a microscope to see me in a glass bowl, I am insignificant but I still want to exist,

so yes, it’s poison but I’ll survive anyway,

I might not matter to you, but I still matter a lot, even if not to myself, not to anyone, but I matter anyway, because I exist.

Existence is the key, as long as you’re alive, you matter.

You don’t need to belong to anyone to matter, you don’t need to love yourself to matter, you’re breathing, so you matter.

I want to keep on existing. So, give me poison, and give me wine, and I’ll take my chances. TC mark

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